Victims of Racism!

Saurav Ganguly has been treated with utmost disrespect. Saurav-dada, after all, is NOT JUST the Prince of Kolkatta! He is the man who gave Indian cricket respectability and passion. So why was he dropped unceremoniously from the team? Because the Abangalis are an insecure set of people who want to keep the great civilisation known as Bengal down.

What is India without Bengal? Nothing, I say! Is it not Bengal that gave India Rabindranath Tagore? Is it not Bengal that gave us economics Nobel Prize laureate Amartya Sen? Is it not Bengal that gave India its first Miss Universe Sushmita Sen? Is it not Bengal that gave India its first individual Olympic medal when Kolkatta boy Leander won a bronze in Atlanta? Is it not Bengal that gave Bipasha Basu? Is it not Bengal that gave India, the greatest and most charming and wonderful Freedom Fighter, ever? Our beloved Netaji Subash Chandra Bose was also a victim of Abangali jealousy! Bengal gave India Satyajit Ray! Bengal even gave India rassagulla and dahi mishti! I can write a 5,000 word essay on what Bengal has done for the ungrateful Abangali Indians. It is with great disproportion that Bengal has contributed to India. What do we get in return? The Abangali rulers mistreat all of Bengal.

We, Bengalis, have been sidelined since the days the British unfairly moved the national capital from its rightful place in Kolkatta to the heart of the Hindi land. Since then there has been a massive conspiracy by the Hindi Belt-Maratha alliance to reduce the glittering shine of Bengal. Abangalis are born jealous of us Kolkatta and Bengal.

Which was the first city in India to have an underground metro? Which is the only city in India that has local train services, metro, buses, trams, taxis, auto-rickshaws and hand-pulled rickshaws? Which is the only metro city in India through which a tributary of the Holy Ganges flows? Which is the state that has the UNESCO World Heritage Darjeeling Toy Train? Which is the state from where you can get the best views of Mount Kanchenjunga? Which is the ONLY state in India that receives snowfall and still has warm wonderful beaches at the same time? Which is the state that is the habitat of the most graceful Royal Bengal Tiger? I can write a 10,000 word-essay on why Abangalis are jealous of Bengal.

It is this jealousy that has led to Abangali Cricket selectors mistreating Saurav-dada, who by the way is the best and most successful cricket captain India has ever had. The people of West Bengal are justified in burning effigies of the cricket selectors. The evil and jealous cricket selectors in connivance with the White, Australian, Imperialist, Divide and Rule coach Greg Chappell (he made his brother bowl an underarm delivery) have insulted the great Bengali nation! Not just India, but the whole world is jealous of Saurav and Bengal! It does not matter that Ganguly is old, unfit and lacks the support of his former (jealous) team-mates. Because Saurav is a demi-god from a communist state, he must at once be reinstated as captain of the Indian Cricket team.

If not, we Bengalis will cheer any team that plays India! We will convince the Left Front to withdraw support from the Ruling Coalition at the Centre and cause a collapse of the parliament. We will also close the “chicken’s neck” that connects the 7 Northeastern states with the rest of India block the highway that connects Sikkim with the rest of India. We are fully loaded with enough weapons to bring all Abangalis to their feet! Worst of all, if Saurav-dada is not playing for India during the Pakistan tour, then the Bengali nation will cheer hard for a Pakistani win! Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Long Live Saurav-dada, Long Live-Kolkatta and Long Live Bengal!!