This Is For The Men Who'll Roll Their Eyes

I’m waiting for the day when my husband can wake up in the night when our baby’s crying and hold her till she sleeps and my family and male friends won’t say “he’s the woman in the relationship”.

I’m waiting for the day when I go to somebody’s house and it’s not their daughter who brings in the tea, but their son.

I’m waiting for the day when a woman can leave her hair open at work and not be thought of as wanting to seduce the boss.

I’m waiting for the day when an ad in the newspaper says “looking for an educated, intelligent and charming girl for our son” and not “for a tall, fair US-citizen”.

I’m waiting for the day when a girl can walk in the bazaar with or without her head covered and not be labeled as “decent” or an “attention-seeker”.

I’m waiting for the day when you boys and men can stop going to brothels and supporting prostitution.

I’m waiting for the day when a woman can walk with her head held up high in public, laughing or serious, and not be labeled as over-confident.

I’m waiting for the day when my husband can do the dishes with me and change the baby’s diaper and he won’t be called a sissy.

I’m waiting for the day when I won’t be told that the Quran says man is a degree higher than a woman.

I’m waiting for the day when you boys can date a girl who sleeps around just as much as you do and not snicker with your friends and call her a slut.

I’m waiting for the day when all you boys, from the lower “class” to the elite “class”, thinking you’re either devout or liberal Muslims, can marry a divorcee without people gasping or you thinking that it must be her fault that the marriage didn’t work.

I’m waiting for the day when my mother will say compromise comes from both partners instead of “we as women have to compromise more”. I’m waiting for the day when a stay-at-home-husband and working wife will not be seen as a dysfunctional household.

I’m waiting for the day when a hard working woman who is being professional at work will not be called a bitch behind her back.

I’m waiting for the day when you women will not blame the woman who is having an affair with your husband but your husband who is having an affair.

I’m waiting for the day when husbands will stop beating wives and brothers will stop hitting sisters.

I’m waiting for the day when sons will be given a curfew just as daughters are.

I’m waiting for the day when sons will be told to lower their gaze just as daughters are.

I’m waiting for the day when Bohra Muslims and other religious sects around the world will stop practicing female genital mutilation.

I’m waiting for the day when menstruation and sex will be something mothers discuss with their daughters.

I’m waiting for the day when boys and men will realize that just as they do, women have sexual desires. That no, they are wrong when they think that just because they’re men they have more of a sex-drive than women.

I’m waiting for the day when the word feminism will not be a synonym for extremism.

I’m waiting for the day when I can call myself a feminist without it sounding like a slur or an insult. I’m waiting for the day when I’ll be paid just as much as the man next to me at work.

I’m waiting for the day when I won’t be told that if there’s something bothering you shush up, if somebody’s raped or assaulted you, shush up.

I’m waiting for the day when somebody will believe a girl when she says I was sexually assaulted by my father/brother/uncle.

I’m waiting for the day when a girls parents won’t say “you just weren’t good enough” when the potential in-laws don’t return a second time.

I’m waiting for the day when women will stop saying they are having PMS or menopause, making their biological built-up an excuse for medicalization*.

I’m waiting for the day when a woman being stern or in a bad mood won’t be asked if she’s having PMS or menopause, as if that is the explanation for her “hormonal outrage”, that “she’s not to be taken seriously because it’s just her hormones”.

I’m waiting for the day when girls will not be told they can’t play sports because they’re girls, and men who are passionate about “girly” things will pursue them no matter what their family and society says or thinks.

I’m waiting for the day when women and men out there will realize that gender is not only biology but a social construct**.

I’m wondering what it’ll take to convince otherwise those men reading this piece who are rolling their eyes and boys who’ll grunt, turn to their mothers and say, “This is the kind of girl I don’t want to marry”.