The Haunting, I believed

The evening was fun. I followed her all evening until she sat on the yellow sofa, hard, shiny and plastic sofa. The party was happening and full of night heat. She was gorgeous, and the way she carried herself appealed to me. I gathered my courage and I stood next to her. I think she offered me to sit, so I did. The seat had curvature on the sides, which helped me slide in on the chair, eventually bumping into and stopping next to her. She didn’t mind, I imagined, considering the guy sitting on her other side had quite some space in between. We sat side-to-side leaning forward, tilting and trying to understand each other’s words, I remember.

Then the music got louder, it forced us to make the conversation more intimate and we kept leaning closer and closer to converse, if I wasn’t mistaken. A cool breeze touched us under the open air, but I didn’t feel it. Her hair mildly moving, told me it was a breeze while the goose bumps on her arms told me it was cool.

We had a moment of pause. She looked right through me. I leaned back. I said something I don’t remember. She leaned back next to me, and joined me in looking to the sky, where I was looking. I said its beautiful out and you could actually see the moon and one whole star...or two. It took her a while and then she chuckled while gazing up at the moon still. She must have felt my arm slide behind her shoulder…she was waiting for it I supposed, since she did not protest the act. She eased her head on my arm and continued her staring at the moon, as I studied the infinite complex emotions on her face. A face that glowed in the candle’s light while shaded by the moons'. She closed her eyes.

Then something awful happened. Suddenly a man in a blue suit appeared from the crowded darkness, and I saw his hand come towards me. I did not see it coming until his hand went through my chest and gently touched her head. She opened her eyes and picked her head up off the sofa cushion she laid her head on. She smiled and seemed to recognize him and he helped her up. This neglect filled me with rage. Blood boiled in my veins as I swung at the man with full force. My fist went through both of them and ended up knocking the picture hanging behind the man in the blue suit. They turned around, confused and went about. I shouted at them, cursed them out, and watched them get in a yellow taxi that took them away.

What just happened? Its all coming back to me now, and this I know for sure: I followed her alright, and I sat next to her for sure…but I never actually spoke to her; I never felt the wind; she did not lean on my hand. She did not even know of my existence in fact. Ah, this happens all the time. See the thing is, I was at a similar party a month ago in the same exact location. I came in a red Lexus with my closest friends. I remember all this vividly. What I forget is that I left that night in a plastic bag, in an ambulance, leaving behind weeping acquaintances. I overdosed while snorting that night and since then I have never set foot out side this place.

This cycle continues every night. My poor memory kills me. I feel alive but then the discovery or the moment takes place, due to an unexpected act like the one I have mentioned above. Usually after the moment, rumors about this club being haunted ring in my head, and become eerily familiar memories of acts I had committed. I usually sit down after this and try to have some water in a glass that I cannot touch. I never believed in ghosts. Now there are no ghosts but me.

Each day this happens. I try, then I remember, then it hits, then I shrink, and I forget.