Terminator 2

Some time back I had posted an article about the TERMINATOR, my Boss - the General Manager of a bank in the Middle East. This is the sequel.

To recap, the Terminator, whom I shall call T2 from now on, was a 6’3”, 250 lb, bald Scotsman who took pleasure at terminating people.

Here are a few more episodes from my life with T2.

Episode 1

T2 had a huge hatred of the Head of Finance of the bank, also a Gora. This Gora did not report to T2. He reported to the CEO, a Local who loved to play T2 against this Gora. The hatred between T2 and the Gora was mutual and very strong.

Though I was known to be T2’s man, the Gora and I had a good relationship.

One day in October, when we were all getting ready for the budget meeting, where the Board would review and approve the budget for the next year, this Gora phoned me.
“I have got you guys by the …..”, said the Gora. “You have screwed up on the interest rates for the budget. I will take T2’s pants off in front of the Board”.

I found out what had happened. The sequence was as follows :
• Every August, Management would decide on what interest rate would be used for working out the budget for the next year. This was a preliminary forecast of the interest rate for the next year. The budget would be prepared assuming this interest rate.
• In early October, the interest rate prediction would be reviewed and the “final” interest rate would be agreed.
• The preliminary budget would be amended based on the final interest rate.

What had happened was that though the final interest rate, as decided in early October, was different from the preliminary interest rate, the budget had not been amended.

Hence the budget was all wonky. The Gora was planning to stab T2 before the Board.

The culprit was the Operations Manager (Mr X). I had informed him in writing that the interest rate prediction had changed and that all branches and departments had to be notified to amend their budgets accordingly. Mr X hadn’t done this.

I went to T2 and told him about this crisis. He flew into a rage and wanted to terminate Mr X right away.

I told him that terminating Mr X wouldn’t solve the problem. The Gora would stab him anyway.

“What will I do ??????” screamed T2.

“There is not enough time to amend the budgets of all branches and departments, before the Board meeting”, I said. “Besides, changing the budget will be admitting that we screwed up”.

“Then what?????????????” screamed T2.

“You are the General Manager”, I said. “Call the Gora and tell him that the interest rates must not be amended.”

T2 nodded, picked up the phone, and called the Gora.

“What is this I hear about you questioning my judgement about interest rates ? I am the GENERAL MANAGER. I decide the budget. Do you read the Wall Street Journal and the Economist every day, as I do ? Do you talk to analysts from Goldman Sachs and Merryill Lynch ? Do you meet bankers from all around the world ? I DO. The interest rate will NOT be changed. The budget remains as it is. GOOD DAY”.

The Gora capitulated.

T2 beamed.

“Thank you, my boy” he said.

“I only suggested, you pulled it off”, I replied.

T2 nodded, and summoned Mr X.

“I would have terminated you today” he said. “You were saved by this man” – pointing to me.

Episode 2

Much to T2’s annoyance, the Local appointed as Senior Manager Main Branch (a very powerful position) was a person T2 hated. This Local hated T2 as well, having heard of T2’s objections to his appointment.

One customer, who happened to be a Brit, made a complaint about someone mis-using his ATM card. He came to meet T2 and, as usual, T2 asked me to join the meeting.

Soon into the meeting it became apparent that the Operations Manager of the Main Branch, an Indian named X, had met the Brit and explained to him that the bank was not liable for any losses due to compromise of access to the ATM card, knowledge of the PIN number etc.

I suggested to T2 that X be asked to join the meeting. T2 nodded, and asked his secretary to summon X.

A few minutes later, the secretary came into the room and gave T2 a piece of paper. T2 read it, smiled, and placed it upside down on the side table.

Some more minutes passed, and X did not arrive. I told T2 that I would go and check out where X was, so that he could join us.

T2 smiled again, and waved at me to stay seated.

After some time, we got rid of the Brit.

Then T2 showed me the paper. The secretary had written “Sir, X says that his Manager (Senior Manager Main branch) has instructed him not to go to T2’s office."

I was perplexed.

T2 smiled. “See what I will do, my boy” he said.

He called the Senior Manager and asked “Did you instruct X not to come to my office ?”

He denied having said so.

T2 smiled again.

He phoned HR and instructed them to issue a termination notice to X.

Maybe, Dear Readers, you are not aware that termination notices are issued at lightning speed by all HR departments in the Middle East. Action was almost instantaneous.

X received the termination letter and went to see his boss, the Senior Manager.

Next morning, when I was sitting in T2’s office as usual, an emissary from the Senior Manager arrived.

Seeing me sitting there, he hesitated. T2 waved him in. “There are no secrets between …… (myself) and me”, he boomed. “Tell me all”.

The emissary, a prominent Local, said that terminating X was rather harsh. After all, X had served the bank faithfully for many years. Couldn’t T2 reconsider ?

T2 said “The case is very clear. X had claimed that the Senior Manager had instructed him not to come to my office, as I had instructed. The Senior Manager denies having said that to X”.

T2 paused.

“It is evident that either X or the Senior Manager was lying. Since the Senior Manager is senior to X, I have to believe him”.

“Therefore X is guilty of two crimes, ignoring my instruction, and lying about the Senior Manager. Hence he must be terminated”.

“If, however, the Senior Manager admits that he did instruct X not to obey my instruction, and that he had lied to me, I will re-instate X”.

The emissary left. T2 had a beatific smile on his face.

Soon thereafter the Senior Manager came to T2’s office, kissed him on the forehead (a great show of respect in the Middle East), and admitted having lied to him.

X was re-instated.

Episode 3

T2 recruited a Brit (X) to structure Syndicated Loans, i.e. very large loans to corporate customers where one bank, the Lead Bank, structures the loan and gets a syndicate of other banks to take portions of the loan on their books.

X managed to sign up a large Syndicated Loan for a large company (Borrower) in the Middle East. Everything was in place for the “signing ceremony”, where the Lead Bank, the other lending banks, and the Borrower meet to sign the extensive loan agreements.

Unfortunately, X forgot to get a visa for the legal guy of the Borrower’s company.

On the day of the signing ceremony, the Chairman of the Borrower refused to attend the signing ceremony because his legal guy was not available to do the last-minute scrutiny of the documents before he signed.

We were now something like “six lenders without a borrower” at the signing ceremony.

The CEO of one of the lending banks, who had flown down to attend the signing ceremony, armed with his Power of Attorney, Board Resolution et al, walked up to T2 and said to him “Dear……., it is customary to have the Borrower present at a signing ceremony. Perhaps, this being your first Syndicated Loan, you didn’t know. Better luck next time”.

T2 nearly went ballistic !

Immediately afterwards, he got me to fire X, saying “My boy, I cannot fire a fellow Christian”.

Episode 4

T2 arrived at office after an overnight flight from London and summoned me.

“You know, my boy, something strange happened today. When I arrived this morning at 6 a.m. Mary (his wife) was waiting to greet me.”

“I told her – very sweet of you to come and meet me, my dear, so early in the morning”.

”I have only come to get away from your brother and his wife” she said.

“You see, my boy, my brother and his wife have come to visit. My wife complains that whenever she is watching TV, my brother’s wife comes and changes the channel”.

Episode 5

The bank’s HR department carried out a Job Evaluation exercise using Hay Consultants methodology.

One of the outcomes of this exercise was that one Mr X, who was a Supervisor earning 8,000 Dirhams p.m., suddenly found himself promoted to Manager, earning 13,000 Dirhams p.m. This was because his job had been found to be at a higher level, i.e. Manager instead of Supervisor.

X went to his immediate Boss to thank him for the promotion. This Boss informed T2 about X’s promotion.

T2 said “X is not fit to be a Manager. If the job is a Manager level job, we will get a qualified person. Terminate X”.

So X was promoted, and terminated, for no fault of his own. The job remained unchanged.