Javed Miandad : My Man Friday

Javed Miandad disgusts me. He really does! For a person who enjoys the status of living legend and still adored by millions of young kids all over Pakistan and beyond, for him to appear on a commercial television program and rave and rant like an imbecile is unbecoming of a gentleman and a cricketer of his stature. I caught him mid way through his two hour-long program, which I am told was a two nights affair. I was dumbstruck to hear the words that were oozing of his mouth reminded me of the brash flow of rainwater through a busted rut.

The one hour that I watched his gimmickry, aided and abetted by the illustrious host Mirza Iqbal Baig, I could not help but sympathize with the poor man. It was obvious that the man was dying to get into the middle and his desperation to get his old job that he had to abdicate to late Bob Woolmer under duress, if you may. All the while he was vehemently denying the fact that he is an aspirant for the coveted job of the national coach, or even the assistant coach, now that the position of the national coach has been filled, he lacked the much needed conviction in his voice or the choice of words. Notwithstanding the amateur psychoanalysis of the poor chap let us take the writers scalpel and work our way through and through.

At the time I tuned in the much touted sports program, Miandad was going on and on as to how adhocism has ruined Pakistan cricket. From doping fiasco to Shoaib’s late arrival for the camp was the fault of the adhoc Committee that runs the cricketing affair. The impression given to the tender witted audience by both the host and the guest was that adhocism is a recent phenomenon and somehow President Musharraf and Dr. Nasim Ashraf are responsible for anything and everything associated with Pakistan cricket today. What both these erstwhile gentlemen quite conveniently forgot to tell their audiences was that former President Rafiq Tarar and not President Pervez Musharraf dissolved the Pakistan Cricket Board. Another thing that skipped Miandad’s mind was the fact that Miandad happens to be the biggest beneficiary of the adhocism, he have had three stints as Coach under the adhocism as opposed to a mere Manager appointment for a two nation series in Toronto. And one must not forget that the then CEO of the Board, Majid Khan walked out of the meeting when Miandad was announced the manager and Aamir Sohail the captain for the series! I am at a loss to understand why Miandad would at this juncture, just before the appointment of the national coach and now with news that PCB is looking for a batting coach, would criticize the adhocism at the Board, where has he been all this time?

Now let us examine the comments of this gentleman and a scholar about the appointment of a foreign coach. In the first instance he stated that PCB should have hired an indigenous coach, someone like Musthaq Mohammad or Intikhab Alam and or Pakistani cricketers of similar stature, i.e. Javed Miandad, because Sadiq Mohammad is already a PCB employee and so is Haroon Rashid, that leaves us with very few choices indeed. Like I said, let us take our scalpel and dissect what Miandad appeared to be saying. With all due respect to both Mushtaq Mohammad and Intikhab Alam, both being my childhood heroes, let us examine their records. Mr. Mohammad is sixty-four year of age, and has only played ten ODIs with a cumulative score of 209 with one fifty to his name. His bowling average for the ODIs is nothing to write home about. As for Intikhab sahib, he is sixty-six years of age, have only played 4 ODI with a cumulative score of 17 with zero as in zilch in the wickets category. The modern coaching is all about limited overs game with twenty-twenty catching up, as we speak, do we seriously think that either of these gentlemen have the age or experience on their side to coach Pakistani team. I have all the respect for these distinguished gentlemen, ho are an institution in their own might, had they had any desire to take up the job, they certainly do no require a spokesman to do it on their behalf, they are quite articulate to do it on their own but they choose not to!!

But then I digress; we were talking about Miandad being on air. The network went on a commercial break with a promise that the “interesting� monologue with Miandad will continue. As they came back on air, Mr. Miandad had a total change of heart. I wonder if Baig sahib had something to do with it. Miandad went on air to state that Pakistan Cricket team does not need a coach in the first. His brilliant argument in defense of his claim was that unlike hockey and football where coach is really “in-charge�, Pakistan Cricket Team Coach is just a lackey and therefore this position be dispensed off with immediate effect; Pakistani or a “gora� coach notwithstanding. That was quite a u-turn for us mortal to negotiate at such a short notice. But was not the end of it. To add salt to the injury, Mr. Rashid Latif joined us in support of his ‘bhai� all the way from London. Rashid’s pearls of wisdom as voiced by him in his brief commentary truly deserve o be etched in stone tablets lest they be lost. According to Rashid, if PCB believes that there should be a ‘gora� coach for the Pakistani team, because no desi coach is good enough, then PCB might as well be managed by goras. Right on brother! MNCs beware!!

As the spectacle continued, the channel went on yet another commercial break with a promise to a more promising chat with Mr. Miandad. The conversation took a bizarre turn as they duo got back on air. Surprise, surprise Baig sahib brought the cat out of the bag. Match fixing was the topic and all Miandad could say was “I told you so�. But to whom, I dare ask? You were part of the squad that went to Toronto which included players indicted in match fixing scandal. You were the coach of the same squad, which contained players that were summarily exonerated by the Chairman of the Adhoc Committee Mr. Mujeeb –ur-Rehman, while the officers of the Pakistani courts were investigating them? Yet you, Mr. Miandad claim to have raised your concerns about match fixing. I wonder where and how? You remained coach of Pakistani team as late as 2004 and so called coached the same players that you now claim that you ‘reported on’ in 1999!
When we were young a time came in our life, when a joke regarding the “height of so and so� was very common. The height of frustration for those of us who belong to my generation would be fresh in their mind; in the closing minutes of the program, Miandad sahib, showed his true grit. He fired his last shot, hoping that this would definitely drive him home. He questioned the loyalty of a person holding dual nationalities. His main objective was none other than, Dr. Nasim Ashraf, Chairman PCB. He went as far as suggesting that what guarantees Pakistani nation have, if Dr. Nasim Ashraf was to embezzle money from PCB and take the next flight to US when the going gets tough. All I can say is that, Miandad has no clue what he is talking about, and in his frustration to land a job at PCB he is making a fool of himself. Anyone who has ever been associated with Dr. Nasim Ashraf knows that Dr. Ashraf is a man who takes pride in his work and is and will not be bothered with the monetary benefits associated with his job. Had this been the case, he would not have opted to head one of the largest development organization in the country!