A Letter to God

One night, I knew you. I did not see you with my eyes, because my eyes do not have the power to see you. I did not feel you because my skin does not have the nerves to recognize you. I did not smell you from my nose because my nose is too basic to sense your aroma. There was no room for doubt, this was the real thing.

It was as though all my senses vibrated in one silent symphony and I knew you like one knows a song, a soft gentle breeze, like a heart stopping moment of love. I knew I had found you. Me. All by myself. I could barely believe it that all this time when I searched for you outside and thought you did not exist you had been waiting for me and looking out for me. You love me unconditionally, with a love that surpasses all attempts to plumb its depths.

You play with me like a father plays with his favorite child. Finding you was like being a baby again in my parent’s arms. I could recognize you because I knew what love was and when you sent me that message I recognized it and knew you. I couldn’t help but laugh with joy that it was so easy to find you. That you dwelt inside me, outside me, next to me, behind me, that you were always with me.

All I have to do is ask for you and you are there, a golden light in my heart. When you asked me to tell others, I was struck with fear. ‘Tell others? Like a self serving guru?’ You laughed and said "No. Tell others just as yourself. Tell them that God is Love that Love is God. Tell them to stop wasting time. Tell them, because I will die otherwise." 'God can die?' "Yes. Because I am part of you and when you give up, I will give up too."

I hid for a whole year. I did not have the strength I told you. I did not have the support I told you. I did not have the money I told you to do my heart’s desire. I just can’t because I am just not good enough.

And you kept sending me whatever I absolutely needed. ‘You must really want me to do what my heart says,’ I said.

"You still have a heart, please speak your truth without fear. What can anyone do to you if you speak from the heart? Kill your body? Ignore you? Give you suffering?. But I am the creator, only I can kill you. Your essence is not the body, but the soul. That can never die as long as this planet stays alive. Your words have more energy than your body and your name."

Light of my heart, help me speak so that hearts can talk. Those hearts that wear a shield of iron around them, those hearts who dare not speak their truth, hearts who believe that there is no love for them, hearts who grieve the loss of loved ones silently. Let us speak the language of love.