Let’s Be Serious

According to a recent survey of sorts, an independent media organization listed the worst dictators of the world. Robert Mugabe topped the list, and Hosni Mubarak was number 20, with Kim Jong-Il, Khamenei, Hu Jintao, and a few others like Qaddafi, etc., were scattered in the middle. The interesting aspect of this list was some of the leaders that it did not include. President Asif Ali Zardari for sure deserved a spot, if not in the top 5%, then at least somewhere near the bottom 3rd. What kind of an idiot will ban jokes about him sent through text messages? Fourteen years for a harmless joke about his youthful indiscretions, fourteen years for calling him Mr. 10%? Good thing the punishment is not proportional, otherwise calling him Mr. 17% will get you a whopping quarter of a century behind bars. If you are lucky you may have him as a roommate in a few years, because that’s where he is destined for sure.

Let’s be serious. This is a very disturbing turn. The western media is having a field day with it. I am sure the Arabs as usual are quiet, because just because. For sure Iran commends such a step as poking fun of the leaders in Iran is at minimum death by hanging, and if you are lucky, it is by firing squad. There are other countries where any derogatory words for their leaders will have one disappear, mostly judicially (e.g., Cuba), often extra judicially (e.g., Eritrea, Uzbekistan, etc.). Zardari has turned Pakistan into one of those countries. We are the new Islamic Kingdom of Saudi Arabia sans oil. We are the new Zimbabwe without 6 billion percent inflation, but we are heading in that direction. We are the new North Korea without a homogeneous malnourished population. We are Somalia with a debit card that no one takes.

President Zardari, if you happen to read this (as you will be reading all the text messages in Pakistan), please do not come after me. I am a man of no means with two young sons, one in college (just as your) and one in High School. My sons are average patriotic Americans who wouldn’t think twice about making a joke about President Obama more than they would think about having a joke on Prophet Mohammad’s expense. You see, even little stupid teenagers have more sense of moral righteous anger of what a joke is. A joke is a joke. It’s meant to be harmless, but mostly it conveys the undercurrent of what people actually feel, especially when it comes to political jokes. You my dear President are floating on top of the history, you are not rooted in it any which way one looks at you. You my dear Mr. President are not funny.

You can try as hard as you want to give us one more reason to be embarrassed about being Pakistanis, but it isn’t going to work, as it has not worked in the past. We have been blessed with all kinds of morons who have ruled over us, some by consensus, and other by the gun. We have survived them all, and we will survive you as well. The real joke in Pakistan Mr. President is the loadshedding, the lack of clean drinking water, the broken healthcare system, the unemployment, the illiteracy, the religious fanaticism, the terrorism, the corruption, only to list a few.

The joke Mr. President is on you.