Don’t Go to the Bathroom in India!

Tonight, I sat with my parents watching their favorite television show, "Seinfeld." Despite the zany antics of Kramer, George, Elaine, and Jerry, the one aspect of this specific show that popped out at me was the integration of South Asians into the plot.

Specifically, I cannot get one line out of my head spoken by the middle-aged parent of a young Indian male getting married in India, "If I had to go to India, I would not go to the bathroom!"

Simply, the plot goes like this: Elaine has been invited to a wedding in India between an Indian man and American (white) woman. She visits the groom's parents and is confronted by a middle-aged couple with pseudo-Indian accents who disavow any interest whatsoever in returning to India -- even for their son's wedding. They actually say, "We would never go to India. Why? Here is the gift registry, buy them something so you don't have to go that dreaded place." "If I had to go, I would not go to the bathroom!"

My initial gut reaction to this joke was:

This is not funny. this is Seinfeld poking fun at us in a discriminatory manner.

This is as bad as "Babu" the Pakistani cab driver that once centered in a few old Seinfeld shows or the Indian owner of a convenience store in The Simpsons.

This makes an unfair caricature out of South Asians.

Immediately after the joke, my father guffawed in laughter. My mother angrily asked, "How can you think that is funny?"

My father retorted, "Because it's true. I take as many Imodiums as I can for a PIA flight. Have you seen those bathrooms? I don't want to even step into one of them if I can help it." (Imodium is a potent anti-diarrheal)

Although the Seinfeld bit was a caricature of South Asians, it wasn't that off the mark. Judging from many of the responses on this site, there is a good proportion of people who feel exactly as this character and my father. Forget the bit about the bathrooms. The sentiment expressed by this middle-aged couple who emigrated to the United States years ago was that their homeland was essentially not worth visiting because of the backwards and uncomfortable nature of being there. South Asia appears to them as a cesspool with no redeeming value, especially with regards to visiting.

I have seen a few well-written articles on Chowk about the issue of "ABCD"-ism. The question: Is this sentiment of loathing for one's homeland a "DCBA"-sm? (Desi Came Became American). Or is this a sentiment that may actually be found in South Asia itself? I think the latter. A good number of the older people I meet from Pakistan and India, especially those who have struggled for many years in their respective countries, express a good dose of dislike for their homelands. They are bitter about their experiences. This bitterness spills over into an extreme cynicism applied to everything about South Asia. The politics is garbage, the economics is down the tubes, the religion is a farce, and the humanity living there attains new heights of corruption every day.

Now, many people may be offended by this sentiment. Many may also feel that "Seinfeld" has no right to make fun of our ethnicity based upon the quality of the bathrooms in India. To the show's credit, George later goes to India and refuses to visit the bathrooms despite the insistence by female members of his party that they are perfectly fine. However, one can't help stab some criticism at the show. The actors who play many of the Indian roles do not appear to be Indian at all -- very similar to the use of Steve Fisher in the "Short Circuit" series of movies. In addition, the Indian characters are given no lines at all to support character development. It reminded me very much of Jory (Joher) Hussain's performances on ABC's "Head of the Class" many years ago (a former Karachi-ite). Of course, it's very difficult to ask "Seinfeld" to offer character development considering it is a show full of caricatures itself.

Another very interesting plot twist is the Indian groom. His real name is Pinter -- what kind of desi name is that? He apparently once called himself "Peter" in the States and actually had previously slept with Elaine. With this plot device, "Seinfeld" has inadvertently documented the nature of how South Asians are entering the American mix known as the melting pot. Much like "Mississippi Masala" does, the South Asian characters like Pinter and his parents speak volumes about how some South Asians have transformed from being fresh-off-the-boat emigrants into converts to the American society. Another question -- do we think this should be how emigrees should be represented on one of the most-watched television shows?

Personally, I have no problem with this sentiment or its presentation on "Seinfeld". However, I do not fully understand it. I felt my experiences in Pakistan showed me pluses from the culture, economics, religion, what-have-you, that just don't exist in the U.S. And I'm not talking about the ready availability of good samosas. Other people's negatives can easily be defined as positives to another. It is how you look at something.

Although many fear that younger generations will turn their backs on their heritage with the dilution of culture via satellite television or American passports, I think the threat of losing positive reinforcement from our elders may also be another site of weakness. I don't mean that people should be gung-ho about the next big shindig by their local South Asian club, but rather, maybe one should look in the mirror before blaming the loss of culture on people wholly unfamiliar with the culture in the first place. The sheer population overgrowth taking place in South Asia will likely guarantee the continued health of our culture. Do you think toilet paper will be showing up in local bathrooms any time soon?