Advertise! You fools!

Let it be known through these columns to all Pakistanis who have any semblance of national pride left in their spines about a media event that is about to hit the world stage in the coming weeks of September 2000.

I am not sure how many amongst us paid attention to an article in The News ("India to start anti-Pakistan global media blitz", Friday Aug 25 by Amir Mateen). If the current powers to be are snoozing, let this rejoinder serve as a wake up call. If I appear to be scathing in my dispensation, so be it. This is not the time for niceties.

A few months ago, I had authored a piece why advertising our cause is of paramount importance to us, but for reasons best known to our news gurus, it didn't see the light of day. What made me jump at the above mentioned report was the striking similarity to what I had proposed. About 50 people will bear testimony to that. It's been burning a hole ever since.

Entitled "Jihad for Pakistan, agony for India", will partly be funded (and take serious note of this) by patriotic Indians the world over and the rest by the Indian Government. Its intention is to further malign the only semblance of organization left in Pakistan: The Pakistan Army. Something they have not been able to convincingly achieve, albeit the Phyrric victories to their credit. Pakistan's Kashmir policy may be killing Pakistan (more about that some other time), but it is no secret, is bleeding India profusely. What with over half a million troops hounded by a few thousand ill-equipped guerillas.

The carefully timed publication of the Hamood ur Rehman Report, the Indian Chief of Staff, General Malick's very recent interview to an Asian journal stating "the average Pakistani is not concerned about Kashmir, it is only the agenda of the Pakistani Army", Mr. Vajpayee's insistence on not talking to General Musharraf at the forthcoming Millennium Session in New York or for that matter anywhere, at all... are part of a grand strategy. This campaign may appear singular in its objective but by judging from the very title, it does not require a whole lot of common sense to see its multi-faceted intent: to achieve what has not yet been possible on the battlefield and to embarrass Pakistan in general. They could not have chosen a better venue and the timing is impeccable.

The Indians are masters at propaganda (especially when it comes to their armed forces) and just a cursory glance at their news one realizes the crafty lies orchestrated to their infinitesimal details. Hail a Goebbelian lie, repeat till its true. During Kargil, peak after peak after peak was "liberated" only to be revealed later that a mere dozen or so positions amongst over 200 had been wrested. And this after an incessant three month artillery and air onslaught and incurring an appalling loss of life. The rest were vacated on orders of one Bill Clinton-the real Pakistani Commander-in-Chief. But the way the Indian media played up the whole affair it seemed as if their army was invincible. For the simple reason, the Indians believe in the power of advertising and public relations. They know that it works. That bad advertising is better than no advertising. They, like the rest of the world consider it to be an absolute necessity where as we trivialize it as a bane, a curse, a necessary evil.

How come there is never a rebuttal issued to this vitriolic diatribe from across the border? Why must we appear "guilty" by our silence to packs of lies? If we fail to launch a public relations campaign to project our point of view in the world press (and Heaven knows there's a lot to polish) it will be, like most of our ills, our own fault.

Let's face it: we have a serious image problem. Never before in our previous military rules were we so susceptible to outside dictates. I am an advertising man and I am of the fervent belief that unless you propagate your message to the outside world in THEIR media over and over again, there will be no mass awareness to explain our position not just on Kashmir, but on everything else under the sun.

Holding flaccid local press-conferences, and sleep-inducing seminars within the country are NOT the answers - "jungle mein moar nachaa, kis ney dekha?"

Na•ve I may be, stupid I am not. Does one really agree the Chattisingpura massacre of Sikhs and the most recent carnage is actually the work of the Mujahedin? Barring the outside chance of sheer stupidity on their part, why in God's name would they indulge in self-defeating public relations? Isn't there enough dice stacked-up against them already? In the previous incident, survivors recalled the smell of rum (standard Indian Army issue) on the breath of the perpetrators, the tonality of language (soldierly), body movements with an unmistakable regimented flair. Similarly, in the latest massacre, all media reports now coming in have a strange commonality: that an overwhelming majority of the victims fell to the retaliatory guns of jumpy, trigger-happy security forces.

Who will you believe? You maybe innocent of a crime and can sit silent or bury your face in the sand, but the world of public opinion will be shaped by the one who plays the stage, the wily and crafty perfecting it to a true art form.

Ever wonder why nobody in the west knows who raised armies of religious fanatics not just in Afghanistan and Pakistan but the entire Muslim world to fight their Great Proxy War? Whose bright idea was to churn out thousands of madressah kids with single-minded religious devotion? Who funded this enterprise? And by selling what? Now when the chicken have come home to roost, yesterday's heroes are today's terrorists. We are a nation of suckers and what a price we are paying for our stupidity.

Many times I find that ordinary Americans who really do not give a hoot to the who, what and where we are (except that we are "Moose-lum Taerro-rists") and who base their opinions on the highly selective self-serving doses the media feeds them, are actually surprised when they hear our side of the story. Then the ubiquitous question: "Why on earth aren't you guys doing something about it?"

Point is: the world needs to be told of India's belligerence. And I feel like an idiot in reminding the powers to be of the power of the written word. Tragic, isn't it? For much unlike the Indians, we do not have to concoct half-truths, for facts speak louder than words. Pardon the cliche but on Kashmir, India is truly getting away with murder.

Much has been written about the Indian propaganda - "tons and tons of highly incriminating fabricated material" as one writer put it. To my chagrin, I simply cannot understand as to why our ministry of information has not embarked upon a media blitz in providing at least a spoonful, to counter the invective concocted by the Indians for the world to suck on. This is where frustration turns into anger. While just about everything that ails Pakistan appears to have been covered in the press, no one seems to give Pakistan's public relations the time of day.

With an already pervasive anti-Islamic mood and the lure of a large middle-class bonanza, the Americans seem a bit too anxious to take the Indian bait; what with the carefully timed orchestrated murder of Sikhs the day Billy Boy lands in India and the "apprehension" and subsequent cold-blooded murder of innocent "perpetrators" the very hour he arrives in Pakistan.

No one from our side refuted when India accused us of gouging out the eyes of their soldiers last year. It is the Pakistani establishment's fault for not highlighting the senseless killing of Christians, the brutal rape of nuns by Hindu fanatics, the systematic slaughter every time there is a Muslim festival and the many concurrent separatist movements in the world's "largest democracy".

Only we are to be blamed if we do not publicize the real nature behind India's census efforts in Occupied Kashmir. With no independent organization to monitor or judge that census (heck, the United Nations was thrown out long, long ago!), isn't it realistic to assume that all this charade is only to re-demarcate certain districts based on "new ground realities" to suit their own nefarious intent? Why has our Foreign Office not cried hoarse over India's attempt to sanctify the upper reaches of the Indus river as something "sacred to Hindus"?

If India has squeezed Kargil to maximum diplomatic effect , why in heaven's name has the current establishment not bellowed their brains out in the international media about India's legacy of transgression. And that too, just in the past twenty years: Siachen, Chorbatla, Qamar...and countless minor ones. I can understand the previous government's impotence, for there could be no sadder commentary on a bunch of imbeciles, but this present regime professes to address our past wrongs. The 1984 Siachen intrusion, beyond Point NJ9842 was the grandiose plan of one Gen. M.L. Chibber of the "high and mighty" Indian Army- the same general who is now a peacenik, never mind the untold deaths, misery and suffering he wrought on the soldiers of both antagonists. Oh, it was a "courageous" step to counter possible Pakistani "cartographic aggression" (here's a mouthful!).

India's latter excursions were classified as "cartographic alignments" of the so-called Line of Control. Which, incidentally our American "friends" now want us to respect. So much for its sanctity. Hey Mr. President, how about a fifth "R" to your now famous four? R-E-S-O-L-V-E the dispute according to (get this!): R-E-S-O-L-U-T-I-O-N-S (UN!)

The west keeps harping about how Pakistanis have no idea about the intensity of distrust Kargil has caused the Indians and the Indians now emboldened, want us to offer an apology for last year's adventure. Sure, we'll offer them one. But wait a Prozac moment-people in hell want iced tea! Let them first offer apologies for Kashmir, Goa, Sikkim, Bhutan, Hyderabad, Junagarh & Manavadar, the role they played in creating Bangladesh, Siachin... We never did advertise these adventures of our foe, did we? And precisely because we were napping then as we are now, we are incurring the wrath of what the world has been made to believe as our aggression in Kashmir.

Frustrating isn't it. Every time you talk to a bureaucrat as to why India got away with yet another pack of lies you get a standard answer. "You don't know. Their PR is very good". And that is when instead of bashing the pathetic sifarishi's skull, thank God sanity prevails and you spit your fury on the floor. Decades of incompetence is backed by pathological procrastination in the corridors of power, a chronic lack of judgement in listing our priorities and when something does move, it is an abysmal show.

That ruse about "there's no money"? It's national survival you morons! Have the corp. commanders, and all the generals, the ministers and their army of advisers forego their monthly pays, perks and allowances for two months (they are blessedly bloated as it is), don't you think there will be enough to fund full page advertisements in the New York Times, the Washington Post and all the other "paragons of factual reporting?" It is sad that we need to do this but unfortunately they are the world stage. They are published where it matters most, especially to us. For they are the ones and their lobby-influenced representatives we go to with our perennial begging bowls. Never mind, that we've been doing this in chartered wide-bodies and Mercedes 500s.

The wealthy amongst us, especially the expatriates are more akin to a vulgar and ostentatious display of wealth. They would rather spend the money in buying their teenagers flashy cars and support a high-falutin' lifestyle rather than contribute towards the $80,000 it takes to publish an ad. Patriotism be damned.

The point of this exercise? It is all a game of media, the dissemination of information. Make your presence known. Tell the world your side of the tale. Advertising is an investment into your future, like establishing brand equity. It not only increases long-term sustainability, it gives you identity and purpose. You are, therefore, better able to deal with competitive forces or "hostile takeovers". Remember that old adage: at the right place and at the right time? Forget it. If you are in the right place, it doesn't really matter what time it is!

Ever wonder why India is setting up transmitters, boosters, launching satellites? Ever wonder why the Indian media makes a big deal about even the smallest matter of national importance, especially when it comes to maligning Pakistan? Sure they have the resources, but could it be that they are too nationalistic? Definitely so. But it is also sheer common sense.

Wake up General Musharraf! And for once use your stick to prod that Minister for Information and Media Development to shape up (he is an advertising man for God's sake). No amount of press releases, Foreign Office statements are going to assuage the damage that will result from this intended Indian media blitz. If done with flair and creativity, a single ad will cover far more, reach every demographic than wasting precious money on a senseless ministerial foreign junket.

FOR THE RECORD: To put my money where my mouth is, I am pledging $2000.00 as my contribution to any legitimate fund raised for this cause. I am also willing to contribute my time and effort, even reasonable production expenses. But all this comes with a stipulation: absolutely no bureaucratic involvement!