Salman, Padma, Fatwa

Perhaps it isn't Salman Rushdie who really deserves the infamous fatwa, but his new girlfriend, 30 year old Padma Lakshmi, who has been described variously as "stunningly beautiful", "extravagantly beautiful", and "flawlessly beautiful". Ms. Lakshmi needs to be punished for making statements such as 'I try not to wear short skirts because I don't want to invite trouble.'

A crack team of elite feminist forces should be sent to call upon Ms. Lakshmi, and convince her by whatever means necessary that her giving these kinds of interviews is insulting and hurtful to the millions of women all over the world who share her intelligence level but not her looks or her incredible self-esteem.

The problem with Ms. Lakshmi is not her stunning beauty (to preserve his professional reputation, the interviewer obviously left out the part where he fell off his chair upon seeing her), but the fact that she is, despite her intelligence and accomplishments, still performing a role which has been the bane of women for centuries: that of a perfect package to be displayed on the arm of a rich, powerful man.

Indeed, previously, women were seen as packages based solely on their beauty. But now, in the new millennium, the stakes have been upped and women are required to not only have beauty, but brains as well: a sort of uber-package, if you will.

Would Salman have pursued the delectable Padma, who is a model, an actress, a university graduate who can speak five languages, a former Italian television star, an expert on Spanish drama and the author of a recently published cookbook, Easy Exotic, if she were not possessed of looks that make people walk into lampposts and fall down flights of stairs when they see her? Probably not. The truth is, famous men need their egos massaged, and these days, for top-flight famous people such as Rushdie, only the best will do. The best is no longer a woman with merely the externals. It is now a woman who has accomplishments, but of course, never those that will overshadow his own. Writing a cookbook will never compare to being the winner of the Booker Prize, and that is where the uber-package concept derives most of its energy.

For her own part, Lakshmi seems to have figured out the formula for keeping men at heel: in addition to possessing unearthly good looks, one must state very clearly that one is not the marrying sort, and then list all the men that were dying to marry one, but that one simply did not want to tie the knot. Having a healthy dose of self-confidence and a refusal to bow down to the Great One's schedule ("He can work anywhere, all he needs is a laptop") also helps. It invokes the illusion that here is a woman who is so spirited, so independent, and so focused on herself that all else are merely satellites to her sun. In a time where everyone from Bono to Bridget Jones elbows each other out of the way to be seen with Salman, the Great One must find this a refreshing change.

However, on closer examination, we find that this is not really the case. Lakshmi gives the impression that all her accomplishments (which are indeed impressive on their own, sarcasm aside) have groomed her for this crowning position as Rushdie's muse and arm candy. It's a trip that she is clearly enjoying: "I wouldn't mind being a muse, but I like to think that Salman's always been writing about me. In fact, there's a character named Padma in Midnight's Children. Many people think I'm the model for Vina Apsara, the heroine of the latest novel, The Ground Beneath Her Feet. That's funny because I didn't even know Salman when he was writing that book." Through it all, we see her thoughts clear as day: only a man of Rushdie's stature and status could deserve a prize like herself. Of course, Rushdie probably thinks that his fame and notoriety qualify him for a trophy like this, so the relationship is mutually satisfying.

The concept of trophy wives has been around for as long as there have been men and women willing to fulfill the roles. But today's concept has changed; the woman has to have amassed a suitable collection of trophies before she herself can be counted as the biggest prize of all. In a world where self-worth is measured by achievement, it is hard to tell whether a woman is a person in her own right or merely a collection of achievements and accolades that, in the end, only serve to increase a man's overall status and standing. Now how many fatwas will we see issued against that?