The Writing on the Wall

In a third world country, information is a luxury that the country cannot afford. Even if it is affordable, people aren’t resourceful enough to access it. So to make information accessible to all and sundry at economical rates or free of cost, the governments of third world country engage in noble and daunting task of disseminating information and updating the people about the social services performed by their beloved government and the great strides the country is making in the field of technology and development. It makes the people proud of themselves regardless of miserable condition they are in. How else would the people of 3rd world countries like Iraq or North Korea could stand upright if they had no official line; they would have never known (especially if they were tuned to international media only, feeding them lies and half truths) that they are among the greatest nations of the world with the most forthright and outspoken leaders.

Nevertheless, it is the responsibility of the government to improve the standard of living of a common man. It achieves it through different mechanisms but none is more effective and long lasting than education. At least this is what we believe and this is very much obvious if you are tuned to the official TV channel. It runs programs imparting education and vocational training such as programs telling farmers how to grow cotton; programs to bring the masses up to the technical level of developed countries such how to repair irons at home, how to make a transistor radio, how to sew shalwaars. And then there is infotainment: none more popular than Janjaalpura (slapstick comedy prepared with collaboration of Ministry of Health (Family Planning a.k.a Population control)).

A very cheap and cost effective mode of transmitting information is Internet where info can be accessed by all and sundry, rich and poor, urban and rural. With this in mind, the government is making considerable efforts to introduce internet in rural and far flung areas and is laying down fiber optic cable all over the country. This will not only bring remote areas of the country online but also help in cheap dissemination of information provided electricity is also introduced in those areas.

Even in urban areas of Pakistan not everybody has access to internet (Statistics? yeah right, this is a scholarly dissertation and I am a social scientist!). Even those who have access are not able to make the most of it (when hormones fuel the brain cells, what else you expect?). For x-rated stuff, they knew of limited number of websites and that only those whose addresses they could memorize such as Desi***.com. I myself introduced many of them to a tool known as (Get ready for it) ‘Search Engine’ and taught them how to make their experience on the internet less frustrating and more satisfying by using such keywords such as voyeur, skin, sex, hidden camera etc.

Anyway getting back to the topic at hand: In a third world country like ours the government might be able to ‘mass produce’ general info but it does not have enough resources for disseminating ‘customized’ and ‘targeted’ information nor the people are capable of sifting for it. Here the social service people or more appropriately the Wall Chalkers play a pivotal role. They usually use aerosol sprays to write on the wall but in Pakistan the term “Wall Chalking” is used to describe it. Their efficient functioning is necessary for normal everyday life to continue smoothly in Urban Pakistan.
In developed countries there are telephone directories around telephone booths enabling people to locate someone or some place. However, in Pakistan I have seen it being used for every thing except that. It is used for wrapping samosas, pakorays. Its paper is used for making envelopes for carrying small quantity of grains. At some restaurants it is provided to the patrons for wiping their hands as a substitute for tissues. I am digressing.
Even if the telephone directories had been placed at the booth, people would have trouble using it for example locating a particular outlet in their locality. It might carry the address or number of the head office, but what if you wanted to know whether there is an outlet in the vicinity. The directory won’t be of much use. In such a case, wall chalking fills the gap. It tells you where is the nearest palmist, nearest motor driving school, nearest sexual disease treatment centre and even the address of the nearest wall chalker.

When it comes to political campaigns, the best urban campaign is not the one, which makes effective use of pamphlets and posters. Though they add to the effectiveness of a campaign but unless you have chalked the wall in a locality, you have not made your presence felt. It is said about cats that they mark their territory by urinating at the perimeter. Similarly, the political party that has a hold in a particular area chalks the walls in that area with political statements and even overwrites (or over chalks) the statements of others. However like the rest of the world, wall chalking is also used for protesting. For example during its heydays, MQM used to write “Crush the corrupt Pakistan Army”. Ironically, they barely saved themselves from being crushed.

When MQM boycotted the elections, every wall in Karachi was sprayed with a picture of Altaf Hussain wearing sun glasses giving the impression of a Cobra (never thought that I would say this but Stallone looked handsome compared to him) with the statement “Vote Do, Maut Lo” which can be interpreted as “Cast your vote, end up dead” most probably by the bite of the cobra whose picture appears above. Those who went to cast their votes used to pronounce the same differently that is “Vote Do, Moot Lo” meaning “cast your vote and urinate (on the face of the Cobra pictured above)”.

Ours is a society which is plagued by sexual dysfunctionality among men if you go by the advertisements in the newspaper. In the Sunday Magazine of Daily Jang, the most widely read Urdu Daily, 40% of the ads are about “How to prolong the moments of pleasure” (mostly local/herbal/Chinese versions of Viagra)). (This is a separate topic and will be dealt with at length in some other essay). However, not everybody can afford the Daily Jang (priced for upper middle class Rs. 20). Then how do the lower middle class and lower income groups find the relevant information. In a society where the measure of manhood is the frequency of masturbations, sexual dysfunctionality can leave young men feeling uncomfortable and distressed. For the convenience of such people wall chalkers have chalked the wall of various localities with the ads of ‘Sufoof-e-Mughalliz’ translated as ‘Dirty Powder’ where dirty is taken in real filthy sense meaning something that brings out filthy/dirty stuff (an allusion to semen). This has been really helpful to those shy guys who could not bring themselves to consult a doctor. In this way, dysfunctional men can cure themselves through over the counter medicine which not only (literally translated) ‘lengthens the moments of pleasure’ but also ‘makes the reproductive matter viscous’.

When traveling by train from Karachi, as soon as you enter Punjab, all the boundaries and walls that are visible are chalked with advertisements of KSC Geysers. At an elementary level, the purpose of marketing and advertising is to have the highest mind recall. During that trip, I had seen and read this ad so many times that even after 5 years, I still remember the name of the Geyser. Too bad, they did not paint the telephone number otherwise I would have recalled it too. If one is creative and has a sharp intellect, he can use wall chalking for productive purposes: rather than forcing his kids to cram text books, he could chalk the walls that run parallel to the school route. In this way the kids would easily be able to cram, what the parents and teachers try desperately and in vain to fill their brain with, just by traveling to and from the school.

Wall chalking is used for admonishment too. It reveals who wears the pants in a particular locality? It is written on some walls, “Is deewar per peeshab karna mana hai. Khilaf warzi karnay walay kay khilaaf sakht karwaai kee jai gi --- behukm Pakistan Rangers” which can be translated as “It is prohibited to urinate on this wall. Any one contravening will be dealt with severely -- Under the order of Pakistan Rangers”. This message serves two purposes: First it proscribed urinating on the wall. Secondly, it indicated that rangers are policing that area. At some other place where the wall is a part of private property or if Rangers don’t wear the pants in that area, it might bear the statement: “Yahaan per peeshab karnay wala apni izzat ka khud zimmaydaar ho ga” translated as “Any one urinating here will himself be responsible for his honour” meaning that he will be dishonored.

Still, if you cannot not cure your dysfunctionality by taking “Sufoof-e-Mughalliz” a.k.a. ‘filthy powder’ you can also find the address of nearest clinic of “Qibla Baray Hakeem Saheb” (The old wise man) who is an expert in “Posheeda aur Pecheeda” (clandestine and complicated) diseases of men and can cure both types of “Bawaseer” (Hemorrhoids) without surgery just by administration of an ointment only once.