Oscar n Bush

The American Motion Pictures Academy celebrates its diamond jubilee this year. Though there might not be the traditional red carpet for the stars to walk down on (war-time austerity measure), it will be more than made up for by the diamonds on the actresses to commemorate 75 years.

Chicago, The Hours & The Gangs of New York are only some of the nominees for Best Film this year. The dark horse who will gallop in from the fringes and lift the little gold statue will be none other than the wildcard entry, Live And Let Die Redux, starring George W. Bush, Saddam Hussain, Tony Blair and a host of seasoned performers. Condoleeza Rice provides female interest in this magnum opus, which is directed and produced by Bush and Blair.
LALD Redux literally created a storm. Powerful performances by Bush, Blair and Saddam had the audiences riveted and the media raving. LALD Redux scores over the nominees with its technical brilliance and the precision with which the director has shot the war sequence. It is no wonder that Messers Bush & Co.’s in-house production has been nominated for best cinematography, best editing, best sound effects and best special effects.

LALD Redux’s has an Achilles’ heel. Adapted from the original story written by George Bush Sr, Redux has a weak plot that prevented the movie from bagging the nomination for best screenplay. The story is set in Washington, London and Baghdad. The US President (Bush) is a bully who is essentially weak and constantly needs bolsters to prop up lopsided foreign policy. The film begins with the September 11 bombings of the Twin Towers and the Pentagon by Islamic terrorists. President Push vows to combat terrorism globally, along with Prime Minister Shove of the UK (Blair). Push & Shove chalk out a strategy and Push bombs Afghanistan in search of O. Bomb Laden, perpetrator the 9/11 crimes. Bomb Laden, the CIA’s Frankenstein from the Russian-Afghanistan war days, keeps hoodwinking Push & Shove Co. After months of futile air & ground attacks, Push & Shove get tired and decide to move on. To Iraq. Where So-damned rules.

The US’s previous scuffle, led by Push’s Pa, in the desert had left the Gulf nation in an economic crisis. With nothing turning up in Afghanistan except the rubble from the incessant US bombing, Push’s misplaced sense of loyalty to his Pa takes over. It is time to train his guns on So-Damned. With Shove by his side, Push sidelines the United Nations and the charge of missile brigade to Baghdad begins. Push & Shove, in their bid to “liberate” the Iraqis, “decapitate” Iraq. Missile showers light up the city, as if in celebration of Id-ul-Milad. In fact, the fireworks against the night sky with silhouettes of palm trees looked almost as celestial as the ones above Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles at the end of the Oscars or the Macy’s show on the 4th of July in New York.
The poignancy of the script is that the attack against Iraq begins on a Friday, the Islamic holy day and a lot of people would not be at work or the other strategic sites that Push & Shove targeted. The US, as ever, has been in the forefront of protecting human rights the world over.

So what is the war about? Oil and power. Not human rights. Not So-damned’s tyranny. Just oil, that warms up the ol’ Texan heart’s cockles. Now this is where the script goes awry. In trying to bomb out So-damned, Push & Shove almost destroy Iraq’s oil reserves. Hundreds of oil fields and trenches burn up and what follows needs no mention at this point. So-damned’s role has been etched out as a tyrant who uses weapons of mass destruction (WMD) against his own people. But nowhere does it show that the Iraqi people want him out. The script fails to deliver on content and logic, except for some mind-blowing action, special effects and dialogue delivery. Bush has been nominated in the best actor category for his heart wrenching portrayal of President Push, caught between his mutated Electra complex and his greed for oil and power.

Such is the popularity of this war flick that the television networks across the world have serialized it and we can watch every episode in the comfort of our living rooms! Much like The Truman Show.

The war in LALD Redux seems almost real. I shudder to think, sitting here and watching the idiot box what might happen if the US were to actually attack Iraq unilaterally! Would the rest of the world just sit on the fence and watch Baghdad crumbling? Would they all turn into little American cocker spaniels who would roll over with a single command from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? I wonder…