Foreign Qualified

The boy went abroad to become a man. To learn. Abroad kicked his ass and sent him back crying to his mommy.

He had been weaned on Archie comics and porn that he had gotten off the net. So he thought there would be a Veronica there ready to take him in his arms or in the least he would be able to pay someone to have sex with him a la Linda Lovelace. Nothing doing. The three and a half years that he was there, not once did he get given the time of day by a Ronnie. Not even from a Betty.

All he ever did was do good at school and gawk at girls. He would hang out in the TV lounges, watch a lot of sports but it was always the other guys that went back to the chicks rooms.

Not even the fat girls were attracted to him. There was one totally sad cow that he had invited to his room, but when she got on top of him, he could not breathe. It was not from guilt or nothing either. She was that heavy.

Recently, before he flew back he found out that the cow had found herself a man. An older man in his fifties. Hah ! Poor guy. Scant satisfaction for the boy though. Even the cows got some. He on the other hand had none.

What happened later when he got back really got his cow as well. When he came back home, his mother started insisting straight away that he get married. He was not averse to that and asked her to go ahead and a find him a nice girl. She did find him one. A nice one, a vestal virgin. Only when the girl’s family asked around about him word came back to them that the boy was a drunkard and hit on women while he was abroad.

He was gobsmacked by this. Yes, he did drink and sometimes in excess, but he was hardly a fall-down drunk and to say he hit on women. Yes, he hit on them, but he never succeeded. Didn’t that count for nothing ?

He consoled himself by telling himself that she hadn’t been really worth it. But deep down, he knew she was and had been.

Thereafter, his mum found him a number of other girls. But more often than not they would get scared off when his mother talked of Nikah straight away. I imagine they thought that there was something wrong with the poor boy. In all honesty, there wasn’t. Nothing really wrong. It was just that he was foreign qualified.