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Marooned on an Island

Ameer H Ahmed July 29, 2003

Tags: isolation

Marooned on an Island with a computer and internet connection

Its my first day on the island, There seems to be no sign of intelligent or dumb life present here.

After a careful survey of my surroundings, I have found that wild animals, consumable vegetation and a freshwater lake inhabit the island. It seems to be paradise but with palm trees and a long beautiful
beach. I have only the clothes on my back and a computer (courtesy of Intel) and an Internet connection.

I have been considering my options on using the computer in its best possible way as I have limited power, I have narrowed down my options: -
I could call/mail the FBI or CIA and inform them of my present situation but they will probably claim that I am trespassing on American property without a visa and will probably jail me for a few years and then deport me.
I can E-mail my sister and seek her useless advice but then again she would not try to help me and claim ownership of my room and my personal belongings (she would be quite happy that I am gone).
I could enlist the help of the Pakistani police but then they would think that I am a terrorist, but then again I doubt that they have a computer and Internet access.
I could send a chain letter, appealing to the millions of Internet users to come to my aid but I doubt they will read it.
I may send a flaming email to the boat company whose boat nearly drowned me but it probably not aid me in my quest to go back to civilization.
I could download instructions on how to build a boat with only palm trees, sand, Water and no knife or axe. But I doubt if such a website exists and if it does it might charge me phenomenal prices, any ways I don’t even have a credit card, I am still under 18.

It’s my 4th day on the island and I have still not reached a decision. I have found during an extensive search of the island that the island used to be inhabited by cannibals. I have found their rotting huts, which collapse by just a push. There seems to be no type of farm or food store and I seriously doubt that they ate their neighbors for food. There also seems to be an assortment of huge cauldrons, which might have been used to cook human stew or even human burgers. If the cauldron were not heavy I could have used them as boats.

It’s my 7th day on the Island and I have found that my Internet connection, provided by a particular Pakistani firm, who I would refrain from naming, is completely useless for 6 days as its "server" is down. So now I wait.... wait... wait...

It’s been 10 days on the island. 3 more days left for my Internet connection to be functional again. I have found that the island has a series of caves. These caves look like they used to be the home of some kind of tribe probably an enemy to the cannibals. This tribe people are not cannibals and I have found a great store, where they used to store their food.

Today is the 13th day on the island and my Internet connection is working fine. I have made my decision.
I will use the computer as firewood and components for my seaside house and I will run stark naked all over the island and create a new civilization, where I will rule over the wild animals. I name this island…. Paradise Island.
SMASH! BAM! …………………BZZT…

My boat crashed on an island,
It was a beautiful piece of land,
Which had nothing but palm trees and sand,
And that’s where I rule with my animals hand in hand.
I need help to find out that if I am a good writer, so I request the help of The Chowk readers tell me where I stand.

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