Ilogs

Before the Internet, people maintained diaries which became privy to one’s ramblings, dark and light secrets, broken hearts and relationships, emotional turmoil, existential angst, bit of shair-o-shairi, borrowed as well as own, frustrated or otherwise attempts at writing, mundane musings, everyday trivia and what not and what have you.
Then came the Internet………………… 230;…………………… ……………………R 30;
And people started writing ilogs.

While dear diaries were tucked beneath the mattresses and hidden in the remote corners of the almirahs, ilogs are out in the open meant for just about anybody with a minute or two to spare and peek a look into your thoughts and life, professional and personal.

Ilogging is like being on a chowk, standing bare and vulnerable, your life an open book. You may discuss haalat-e-haazra, reminisce and pontificate over the afsaana-e-zindagi and shed tears on the daastan-e-ghum.
Or you may not and be like Alka…………..raat ke khane ke baad sair ko nikle, kuch dair chowk per ruke, raunaq dekhi, khush huye aur aage badh gaye…………some such thing she wrote.

As you become familiar, you gain acquaintances, develop friendships and keep tabs on each others lives. Just the way you do in real life without being inquisitive, perhaps out of genuine love, concern or affection.

Ilogging is for free…………..it doesn’t cost you a penny nor are you compelled at gunpoint to bare your soul. Nor can you be sued for libel, charged for copy right or crucified for blasphemy. No editor’s scissors either.
Fellow interactors too are free to hit on your ilog, read or ignore it.

Just as on a chowk, you’ll have the elderly offer advice, some who take you seriously, others who don’t; some who appreciate your efforts and yet others who don’t. By way of minimum courtesy you say a thank you and take others in your stride for you cannot take a panga with anyone on the chowk. That will lead to a bloody fracas. So while ilogging, at the most you indulge in a verbal tu-tu mein-mein before the self appointed faujdars with good intentions, drive some sense home just as the pahalwaans from the aukhada at the nukkad of the chowk, perhaps with some haata pai too! And life gets back to normal.

Ilogging is about people………..lively people who like to keep in touch, share and feel. They are not necessarily loners/losers. They might or might not have someone to go home to after a hectic day and unwind. Just as with music, books, gardening etc etc, writing too could be a hobby. Just as you share your ups and downs with friends and relatives, ilogging helps do the same with total strangers minus inhibitions. In real life you might worry about hurting your dear ones with the truth or run the risk of putting a relationship on trial. Honesty might be the best policy but even dear ones like to hear what they wish to and not what you wish them to!

And it takes courage……………courage to be honest, bare your soul, admit your shortcomings, whine over inadequacies, question the injustices, spill tears over soured relationships, cracked and chipped hearts and emotions, suicidal tendencies, missed and forgotten birthdays, privileged and unprivileged childhood, loss of someone dear, a missed call or the mail that was never delivered.
Some are honest, some fake it up. Some are modest, some mia mithus. Some are down-to -earth, some suffer from the hum-se-badh-kar kaun syndrome. Some come minus the self, some with huge bloated egos with the I-me-myself drilling. Some are erudite, some banal. Some are just too good while some are hopeless. Some are drab and some humourous. Some travel light while others carry excess baggage. Some are informative and some oh-so-boring.
You like some, you don’t some. But at the end of the day all ilogs bring colour more than in a rainbow to that current moment.

The ilog forum is a convenient confessional box where you may admit your guilt, sin and crimes without seeking mercy, pardon or resurrection. With the load off your chest, you feel light…………that is enough of a reward.
It is a mistress to run to when disillusioned with the spouse or a wife to forcefully thrust into when disillusioned with the mistress’s nakhras.
It even acts as a municipality receptacle to deposit your frustrated semen and erratic vaginal discharges, vomit your insides, belch, burp and say, ah! now that feels better. And not be held responsible for polluting the environment either.
Its a laundry to take your dirty linen to when the dhobi falls short. Bad monsoons, perhaps.
Sitting in Toronto you keep up-to-date with the mausam back home in Lahore or enjoying the backwaters of Kerala you know how good ol blightey London is doing.
You can share and exchange recipes and keep in touch with past and current batch-mates.
You pick up a phrase here a sentence there and marvel at the writer’s ability to play with words.
You muse over a thought here and empathise with a feeling there, offer your two bit and move ahead.
You have free services of agony aunts and some uncles too. You either heed their advice or just shut up.
You come as you please and go as you please. No marks cut and no questions asked.

It helps you “read, write and think”. With such indulgence you can only derive pleasure……mental, emotional and intellectual and certainly not carnal as in pornography. It will be so when you have vivid descriptions as to how you did it, how many times you did it in a day, with whom, where, who was on top or inside, whether you went 69 or took a leaf out of Vatsyayan’s Kamasutra, whether it was with the legitimate mate or a whore or a gigolo, with some one of the opposite sex or same, with an inhuman specie or something inanimate, in the confines of the room or out in the open or whether or not you reached the big O.
Till then while some may drive you nuts with their roz marra ki zindagi accounts replete with statistics on how many times a day they snorted or farted…..others might relish a bowl of khichdi at the other end.
So keep on ilogging folks, you have nothing to lose except someone else’s peace of mind.