Times to Come...

Geography classes had never been so much fun or easy. Children no longer had to memorise a long winding list of countries along with their capitals.

They happily sang along:
Countries... …countries.
Do you know the countries?
Asia
Africa
United States of America
Europe
Australia
Israel and
Antarctica

Yet another new world order had emerged.

Antarctica existed as before with its ice, penguins, research expedition crew and some more ice, penguins and research expedition crew.

Israel took over what once was the troubled Middle East. There was now peace all over. Mullahs from all over the world had congregated to settle in the country of the holiest of the holy shrines. Forces from the three services of The United States of America, stationed themselves around the oil wells. Arabs holidaying in foreign locales were all sent to a secret base in the desert land of Utah and kept under observation with the male camps separated from the female camps under heavy security fearing another Osama in the making.

Australia including all its neighboring islands and island countries existed as one big gay-as-in-happy and also otherwise island country. It housed the headquarters of the United Nations of The New World Order headed by Maleeha Lodhi’s daughter.

The European Union became one bulky union with both Scotland and England joining it along with the Scandinavian countries.

North and South America became one too taking Canada into the fold. George Bush Junior had long breathed his last but not before making the confession: Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I reduced a country to rubbles in search of a man who actually eludes me to this day and bombed another to smithereens in search of the dreaded weapons of mass destruction which incidentally had been lying in my own backyard.

Grandma Hillary Rodham Clinton ran the show behind the curtains as advisor to Chelsea, having served her own term of Presidency, with Fareed Zacharia as the Secretary of the State.

Africa was united under the leadership of Nelson Mandela Junior. Its human populace largely succumbed to Hepatitis A-Z and the good old Aids and the remaining few continued unfazed keeping the dreaded virus alive but the population under check. The African wildlife, taking heed from the kabootars went awry too and the few abnormal-straight ones lived in peaceful harmony with them. This phenomenon kept their numbers in check and prevented them from taking over the African mankind.

The Great Siberian ice engulfed Russia, Mongolia and China stopping just after Kashmir. With the valley of contention gone cold Asia comprised India and Pakistan, who lived happily ever after, defying all logic and reason. Essa/Ibrahim Goldsmith Khan became the Prime Minister of Pakistan and Bilawal Bhutto Zardari sat in the opposition. Lokesh Naidu was called from abroad by his octogenarian father under pressure from the party to head the Telugu Desam at the centre and grace the Prime Minister’s seat. The Congress under Jyotiraditya Scindia and the BJP under Pratibha Advani sat as the opposition-in-coalition. The Ghauris and the Agnis were housed in mausoleums in their respective countries. While annual urs was held for the former, the latter went on to acquire a phallic status, till the liberals took over. In both the countries.

With the emerging new world order, terms as globalisation and liberalization were replaced by age-old-but-seldom-practiced-with-such-panache ideologies as live and let live and to each his own. Man being a restless animal, was increasingly becoming dissatisfied and frustrated with the monotony of the opposite sex. The she of the specie no longer aroused him. And he could not remain dormant for too long. He wanted to try something new. He wanted change.

In the absence of a third gender, he turned to his own kind, as had some of his ancestors before him. But from being discussed behind closed doors and remaining under sheets, he came out of the closet, all bare with his companion in tow. The woman followed him with her companion in tow. The practice was a big hit. It became a universal phenomenon. It was the in thing to do. And pretty cool too. With he-he/she-she relationships/marriages in vogue, parents in Asia could at last rest in peace and not suffer from dowry nightmares.

Population came under control. It was already on the path of control with the once belligerent nations of the world having gone to mindless but not bloodless wars with their neighbors and neighbors’ neighbors and even those who weren’t even remotely their neighbors and learnt the lesson the hard way. These same-sex alliances further kept the numbers from growing.

The non-conformists who retained their attraction for the opposite sex were subjected to derogatory and condescending looks; their families disowned them; the public ostracized them; they were the social outcasts; they went hiding behind closed doors and remained beneath sheets. The intellectually inclined liberals were free to practice their own brand of thinking based on logic and reason. Thus religion went out of the window and in came reason and logic. There were no communal riots and no sectarian violence. It was one small happy world where the kabootars and others lived happily till......

I don’t know. The wail of my brother-in-law’s five month old interrupted my sleep. But could it all be true? Could our duniya really become so pursukoon……as the lull before the storm - the doomsday?