My Friend Pervez

I wish my Pervez is really the one who is the President of Pakistan for even though I am from India having Pakistan’s President as a friend cannot but be an advantage. Both RAW and ISI will seek my favors and may be share some of their wealth. However, my Pervez is a Pakistani engineer who has recently come to work in the US and who lives in the same town in Midwest America as me. It is a small town nestled amongst beautiful mountains and rolling fields of corn. There is a small community of desis that includes some Sri Lankans, many Bangladeshis, two Nepalis, a larger presence from Pakistan and of course the diasphora from north to south, east and west of India. Obviously, there are Patels, Singhs and Reddys, as also Khans and Hussains engaged in teaching, medical services, motels, real estate businesses and software consultancies. Pervez does not come from a rich family or a landlord clan [as most Pakistanis appear to suggest] but has come on a valid visa [this needs reiteration] to work as a manager in a large multinational organization. Like every desi, he too plays cricket and it is this that has brought him into contact with me. We have a local cricket team, all desis except an odd New Zealander stuck in this part of the world and we all play decently without posing any challenge to the established world of cricket. Our ambition is limited to playing in a regional league comprising several teams from four states situated in this part of the US. Due to the cold weather the cricket season is short and therefore we all strive to play as many games as possible during the summer months. Of course, international cricket is followed closely through the internet and satellite TVs and there are several occasions when we all gather at a common place [somebody’s house usually] at odd hours to watch test or one day matches going on in different parts of the world. We all cheer the sub-continental teams beating others, especially Australia and England. India-Pakistan matches are very intense, but we do look forward to them and hope these can be revived.

Naturally, the interaction is not confined to cricket. Diwali, Holi, Id, Christmas and other festivals, birthday parties and various get togethers are equally frequent where desi food and films are shared with enthusiasm. Cut off from the motherland and stuck at a place where the daily grind is severe, these occasions are sought after by everyone and absences are rare [though late-coming remains a cross-border desi habit]. These are family gatherings and even though most children find the conversation, music and food [in that order] strange, they are nevertheless dragged to these parties. Everyone is concerned about the next generation loosing roots and marrying the wrong kind [skin color and religion being the two defining characteristics]. These gathering therefore become important for keeping the flock together and it is not unusual to drive 50-60 miles to savor some desi get together. Fortunately, the community is not large to be splintered into regional, religious and caste groups nor too small to be disorganized.

But let me concentrate upon Pervez and state first of all that it is not his real name though he is a real person. For this article it would have hardly mattered if his name was Abdul, Rameez, Wasim, Iqbal or Latif so long as he was from Pakistan. This story is about an Indian Hindu becoming friends with a Muslim Pakistani in the United States after 56 years of creation of their respective countries. For this reason why not choose his name to be the one that is familiar to most people? The editor wants full and correct particulars about the author so I cannot call myself Atal Bihari but it too hardly matters what I call myself. I could be Amitabh, Sachin, Rahul or even Saurab. It does not matter to the concern that I wish to narrate.

Our friendship is centered around common interests, as described above. Our conversation however meanders into uncharted waters. Occasionally, problems of our respective countries creep up in which violence, criminalization and gun culture become topics of common concern. This brings us into the domains of terrorism, role of intelligence agencies, nationalist jingoism, Bangladesh war and inevitably Kashmir. Both Pervez and I attempt to divert the discussion [talking of Mission Kashmir and its songs for example] for it is clear that we do not wish to pursue a topic that may hurt the other person. I discuss the foolishness of the Ayodhya dispute and curse those who demolished the Babri Masjid or indulged in mayhem in Gujrat. Pervez laments the killings of Shias in mosques or gets extremely agitated over honor killings. But when our prognosis begins to go into the direction of India-Pakistan disputes, cross-border terrorism and use of criminal elements, games of intelligence agencies we tend to turn back and talk cricket scores. For it is clear that we value our friendship and do not like to say anything that can hurt the other person. Grown into the propaganda of our respective governments and media we naturally tend to believe into the truthfulness of our version than one suggested by the other. I am extremely concerned about Mullahs getting hold of the nuclear bombs in Pakistan. I also find it difficult to trust the Pakistani army that seems to me to be the biggest problem on the subcontinent. Pervez seems equally concerned about the stability of his country and apprehensive about India’s hegemonic designs. He views with alarm the rise of the BJP and its talk of ‘Akhand Bharat’. He believes Pakistani army is the bulwark of stability of his country. Therefore, we turn to other topics rather than express these views and hurt our friendship. With this simple arrangement it is apparent that we will remain friends, forever.

It needs to be mentioned that this situation is not limited to us two or to our region; such desi communities are now in every part of this vast land, from California and New Jersey to Minnesota to Massachusetts. The internet and instant communications have further expanded the network and similar desi interactions may be seen across Canada, Australia, UK and other places where Indians and Pakistanis have settled down. People from both the nations are getting along together and finding that their cultural-historical bonds are stronger than their geographical-political [even religious] divisions. It is this realization of common heritage and similarity that sustains the togetherness. Our friendship is not an isolated case.

But if Pervez and Atal can become friends in an alien land than perhaps Indians and Pakistanis can be friends on their home turf, the subcontinent itself. However, for this to happen they need to turn to their heart rather than the mind. Perhaps one day they will.

Atal Bihari, Amitabh, Sachin… whatever