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Suicide: My Salvation

Fakhra Hassan April 24, 2004

Tags: death , suicide , desperation , misgiving

When the world is pointing its finger at you
When nothing seems to make sense
You haven’t faltered yet they’re breaking you
Solitary confinement becomes your defense.

You don’t want to face them
You don’t want to be seen
You’re dying in your world of deception
You’ve
forgotten what life means.

Life: how we give up everything for it
How unfair it is to death
Silence, peace, freedom, yes death
Is what I want with every breath.

Suicide is my salvation
But I’ll be damned as religion tells me
Death wants me, life doesn’t I protest
No one here seems to understand me.

I choose Hell as my destiny
For I have seen it already
It will rectify the pain that I have suffered
I poison myself slow and steady.

I am losing my vision
It was meant to see the invisible
How I failed in doing that
In seeing the malicious and the subtle.

I can’t hear anything anymore
And I chose not to listen
O if only I had thought of it before
My pain could’ve been lessened.

My mind wants to rest now
For it never was needed anyway
How I curse myself for not using it
My life could’ve found many ways.

My soul is quivering to leave me
As I never allowed her to feel
Now all she yearns is fire and pain
O Dear Heavens, mercy me…..

Man himself causes damnation
How truly the Lord Has Said
In my grave, in the scorching pain
I pay for my sins; the life unspent.
For eternity in pain I shall repent
For I chose suicide: my salvation.
Fakhra lives in Islamabad. She is conducting independent research on physics, religion; their role in technology and society, and is a teacher.

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