Dracula: A Toothless Tirade

It would be stating the obvious to say that Islamabad’s theatrical activity requires an uplifting, and to carry that blatant thought forward, it would be even more pertinent to say that any detrimental pursuit with regards to the stage would be like taking the proverbial axe to Islamabad’s progress in the said department. The adaptation of Bram Stoker’s brilliantly constructed allegorical gothic tale – Dracula – is one such imposing perpetrator. I recently had the misfortune to attend a showing of the travesty in question and to put it in terms milder than any other I can conjure up, the one word that continuously keeps popping up like the tune of an irritating song stuck in my head is excruciating. From the very onset of the play, the mood of the hall, its setting, the arrangement of people and the management, everything seemed awry. After making the not-too-amused audience wait for a good hour (for those who had mistakenly arrived early), the curtain finally opened; the essential emphasis here being on ‘curtain’. Ordinarily, both curtains open, however, with this play, one had a whim of its own, and it refused to open beyond the one-quarter mark. Act one scene one went on with a third of the stage behind the moody curtain. An incredibly ignominious opening, if there ever was one.

Which brings us to the actuality of the play itself. If one were to take laconic license and try to describe what was in front of one, after the torturous waiting period before the curtain actually opened, it would have to be ‘monstrosity’. The set – or lack thereof – had been placed, around and about the stage in the most haphazard, random manner I have ever witnessed. Recovering from the shock of that, the producer and main character of the play – Hammad Azim – walked on to stage in flared, neo-gothic bell-bottoms with crosses (oh! the irony) on the front and an in-your-face red velvet shirt, straight out of a 70’s unmentionables movie. The dialogues, actions and gestures were full of the same Phantom of the Opera humdrum that we all had to endure some months ago. And as I clearly remember, that play (the Phantom of the Opera) did finish, as I put earlier, some months ago. An apt name for this fiasco could very well have been the Phantom of the Opera reborn as a 17th century blood-sucking Count. The transformation portrayed of a battle-weary warrior turning to an angst-ridden, disillusioned vampire was flawed in so many ways, from the facial expressions to the comic shoving away of the intolerant bishop, that it generates a list that requires a LOT of populating.

And to make things even better than the real thing, this mode of communicating to the audience by the protagonist was maintained throughout the entirety of the shocking “performance”. The costumes went from bad to downright tacky, the number of mistakes the light and sounds seemed as if they too, like the curtain, had a mind of their own, and to top it all off, not a solitary scene actually had any sort of gelling between any of the characters. So many manually-done curtain-closures and openings could not have even been in a rock-concert done by the most moody of musicians. Making the audience wait in anticipation perhaps was a phrase not entirely understood by the responsible authorities. The acting of the other actors, not including the already-praised great Count himself, was yet another aspect of the proceedings that left a lot to be desired. The much-anticipating audience clearly showed signs of dissidence as so many people just left in disgust and many others stayed on just to ridicule what was happening in front of them. One actor however seemed to be the iconic dimly lit star of the show – the butler played by Jalal Manzar. The three odd lines this actor delivered were indeed a treat to watch, and a great lesson to the ‘main’ characters of the play. Standing ovation.

While many will argue that one must encourage attempts of any kind to revive the theatrical endeavours coming from any source in Islamabad, something of the quality of this should definitely not be encouraged. Oscar, which was staged here just a few months ago was, despite being an amateur production, very well done and to condone the effort that team made is indeed in order. This team, which contains members of the Phantom of the Opera one would think, should have had enough experience and the aesthetic sense to put on show something that at least reflects the excellence that the Phantom had. One day before the staging of ‘Dracula’, the Ajoka Children’s Theatre staged a performance at the same venue, and all one can say in comparison is that this team should have taken at least a little leaf out of their book. It is unfortunate that the sponsors and the CDA have been involved with this shameful play, and hopefully someone will be foresighted enough to screen future productions that are undertaken. Incredibly disappointing. As opposed to ‘two thumbs-up’, what this play deserves is a right booing and ‘two thumbs-down’.