Girlfriends

Yesterday I spent a great evening with my girlfriends. We talked, giggled, gossiped, ate…it was a welcome catharsis and a badly-needed distraction after a harrowing work week, personal disappointments and general ups and downs of life. It made me realize how important it is to have girlfriends in the first place. No matter how horrible you feel about yourself, whether you have zits on your face, have gained 10 rather ungainly pounds, have bags under your eyes, or straw-like hair, girlfriends will console, listen, tsk tsk at the right moment, and generally make you feel good about yourself. They won’t ditch you for a cricket match, for a night out with the boys, or for another girl. They will tell you honestly when you’ve gained weight, they’ll help your confidence by reassuring you about your looks and personality, and if they hold your hand, chances are they’ll never let it go.

I’ve been lucky enough to have some very good, close friends over the past few years, but there are four in particular that I don’t think I’ve ever thanked. They stood by me when the going was getting too tough to bear, when my heart was broken, when I felt miserable beyond belief. They held my hand, listened to my dramatics, cried with me, laughed with me, hated the people who hurt me, consoled me and made me realize that if I don’t make mistakes, I will never grow as a person. They were with me through thick and thin (literally!) and if I never got a chance to say it then, I’ll say it now: you rock, girlfriends!

First of all, Rabs. You’re far away, too far away for a regular one-hour phone call every night, but thank God for email. I know I can write to you any time I want, without hesitation, to pour my heart out to you. We’ve discussed lipstick shades, had chai at the college canteen, exchanged corny notes during class, have been brutally honest about hairstyles (and especially hair dyes!), listened to each other’s stories, consoled each other when our hearts were broken, spent hours discussing the exact shade of pink you wanted for your wedding ‘jora’, teased one another with telltale songs (remember ’kucci kucci hota hai’?)…We’ve spent entire nights listening to music, eating fattening chips, making endless cups of chai, laughing over episodes of ‘Friends’, crying over the people who hurt us or the people we inevitably hurt. Remember how we “raced our horses”, how we cracked over flowers accidentally delivered at the wrong time, how we danced like crazy at 5:30 am in Islamabad? Knowing that I can be crazy with someone is a great feeling. If I’ve never said it before, I’ll say it now: you rock, girlfriend!

Secondly, Buzz. Oh what ups and downs we’ve seen in our relationship. I don’t think I was there for you when you needed me the most, but I hope I’ve made up for it later on in life. We have had our share of profound conversations. Your room is the ‘den’, always will be, of the heaviest conversation and food! I know I don’t always get you, and we hardly ever agree on anything, but perhaps because of the fact that you always have an open ear and an even opener (is there any such word?) heart, I go back to unburden myself again and again. Your advice has been priceless over the years and if I never said it before, I’ll say it now: you rock, girlfriend!

Baban, you “corporate beast”, you and I are like Laurel and Hardy (though you’re nowhere as round as Hardy nor I as skinny as Laurel!). I’ve known you since school and I still remember your first day. You were the hyper pipsqueak who would talk a mile a minute about your old school, your cousins, your friends. You haven’t changed much and neither have I – you still love to talk and I’d rather listen than talk any day. When I was not in Pakistan, we both kept in regular touch, and it was like I was never away. When I came back, only you knew what I was going through. You were there when my emotional roller coaster was driving me crazy, you were there when I needed a job, you were there when I was confused. You always offer your shoulder to cry upon, explaining beforehand that the I might have to lean down a little to reach the shoulder, but it is there nonetheless! I don’t think I’ve ever told you how good it feels to know that you are just a phone call away. Well, if I’ve never said it before, I’ll say it now: you rock, girlfriend!

And last but not the least, my very best friend in the world: my sister. M, you are the one who has seen that side of me which no one else has. With you I can be mean, nasty, emotional, unreasonable and rude. I can laugh one minute and cry the next, but you put up with me because you know me inside out. When I can talk to no one, you can make me talk. When I withdraw emotionally, you make me come out of my shell. When I feel no one understands me, you not only understand me but also help me understand myself better. What can I say? With you, I’m just me - no pretence, no veneer, no questions asked. So, if I’ve never said it before, I’ll say it now: you rock, girlfriend!

In these emotionally draining times, it’s nice to know I have not one but four women I can rely on, to give me good advice, support and guidance – or, if nothing else, a hot cup of tea!