The Magician

Tulsi, Parvati, Prena. Hate them. Curse them. Blame them, but it’s a sad and undeniable fact that you can’t escape them. Whether it’s through the discussions your mom has with your nani or through the title music that blares through your neighbor’s window and manages to reach your room, they are everywhere. Dressed in gaily colored long flowing saris, sporting the long mangal sootar (clearly visible even amidst the huge burden of fake gold jewelry), and their heads colored with the sindoor these angelic bahus are seen suffering, sacrificing, being victimized in short doing everything a sane and perfectly normal woman would never do. Their lives are constantly being turned upside down either by their villainous mother-in-laws or by any other comically dressed woman with weird colored eyes whose sole purpose in life seems to conspire and make others’ lives miserable.

This is nothing new, scores of articles have been written mercilessly criticizing these oddities that take hold of our idiot boxes from eight to eleven everyday and more will be written after this one. But it’s time we finally admitted that despite their never ending plots, immortal characters, families the size of the entire population of Nigeria, and seemingly endless conspiracies, these soaps have taken hold of our family members like nothing else. There’s at least one person in every family who watches these soaps. That too, if you are one of the lucky ones because for the rest, they are the entire family’s favorite pastime. This soap loving idiosyncratic can be your wife, your sister, your mother and though you will never admit it can even be a male member of your family. These devoted fans are spread all around us, crying with our angelic bahu over her abundant misfortunes or getting elated with her happiness.

The surprising thing is that these ardent fans also accept that these saas bahu sagas are a complete waste of time (and eyesight) nevertheless everyday at prime time, you find them glued to the TV screen, excitingly following the jumbled and complex life of the 101 characters or upon finding a fellow soap fan you find them discussing the latest character that has been reincarnated, murdered by one of his own family members or has finally discovered who of all the 101 characters his real father is.

When asked about their inclination towards these serials, these fans say that they find the plays similar to smoking, drinking or even drugs. They know the side effects, they know they are useless but they just can’t stay away from them. In short they are addicted. Yes, addicted to the woman whose face turns a thousand colors every time she gets shocked or there are even some young women who confess that they watch the serials just because of the handsome hero (who by the way gets married at least six times until he finally finds the woman he loves). Just to hide their embarrassment many people claim that they watch the soaps just to get a gist of the latest fashion but that hardly seems believable.

There are so many good serials and soaps being run on our local TV channels (apart from the incredibly bad copies of the above discussed soaps) but even with their close to real life stories and believable plots they tend to be overshadowed by the glamour of those starting with the letter “K�.

“Tulsi baliyan�, “Star Plus Mehendi� it’s not only the TV sets they have conquered but they are on the boxes of the jewelry we buy, the mhendi we apply. The characters from the serials are seen endorsing a soft drink convincing people that soft drinks are not bad for health. Such is the power of the woman who in reel life even after reaching the age of 80, manages to dance in parties. They never seem to be doing anything yet their wealth surpasses even that of Bill gates. They are never seen tending to their children yet the “parampra� runs through the entire family’s bloodline like genetically inherited DNA.

The eye torturing way these serials are shot and displayed should be an eye sore but we find people eagerly waiting for the next episode. With their silly plots and unrealistic stories they should have been taken off the air waves ages ago yet we have been seeing them running for God knows how long. At least the obscene and vulgar dialogue, should keep parents away from viewing them with their children but we see school going kids discussing them.

From what I have observed I have only been able to come to a single conclusion: Either more than half of our population has really mediocre taste or Ekta Kapoor is a magician who has managed to cast a spell over them.