Temptations and Free Will

Do you like to throw temptations as challenges at yourself despite of the
FACT that you know that you are weak, so weak that you cannot even resist
the temptation of being in the presence of potential opportunities which
would ensure the elimination of your chances on getting on the list.

Such are the worse kind of temptations; the ones which make you walk on the
line, which intrigues you to see how far you can push your self within the
limits. Indeed it is the worst kind since it works from within the circle
with all the right reasons to push you to the limit where you are more
vulnerable, blinding you with emotions like courage and daring with the
senses pulling you - where he needs to do nothing more, where he can do
nothing more, where his limits end, where the single element of human
supremacy takes charge - FREE WILL

Is there something at the back of your mind...whispering something you can
conveniently ignore... because you WANT it to happen... accidentally
somehow... somehow not your fault... somehow the circumstances... somehow
he made you do it... somehow you could taste it and get off the hook...
Knowingly... and conveniently ignoring it... somehow... HE would
understand... somehow

Indeed the worst kind of temptation, makes you think, question, complain...
why were you given the thirst for such temptations... conveniently placing
yourself off the hook... think more, beyond the aid of your senses: is it
because you are week or is it because you are looking at the wrong reasons
to avoid the temptation... certainly there is a doubt in your mind which
makes you push yourself to the limit, stand there naked, exposed,
vulnerable... certainly the consequences are not dire enough... certainly
the word(reason) FORBIDDEN entices you rather than restrain you. So what do
you do to replace that doubt with certainty... somehow transforming that
temptation to a repellent... OR are we bound to live with these temptations
as per DIVINE policy... is it possible to change the chemistry of emotions,
interpretation of your senses to keep you away from these temptations, with
satisfaction, without a doubt... OR is it meant to be this way... HIS way
of making it interesting, may be the decision of the free will is the test
that you need to pass first at least once- before the transformation of
sense, emotions can happen... Is this transformation called the
purification of SOUL?

Does such a state exist... and if it does, is there a way to achieve it? Or
is it in human destiny to exist along with temptations?

I will tell you what I would like to believe... I would like to believe
that such a state exists... I cannot have it... it can only be given to
me... all I can do and have to do is to make myself illegible for list...
and then wait.... wait for HIM to notice, for HIM to judge, wait for HIM to
grant my wish.... freedom from hypocrisy, freedom from the constant
suffering due the guilt of being impure... freedom from FREE WILL...

But free will is the corner stone of the definition of human kind... can we
be redefined... can at least some of us be redefined? Don’t we need some of
us to be redefined Or is it the very reason for our existence... HIS idea
of spice in life... the shadow for us to live with, deal with for
eternity...

But this has to go away sometime... at least when I finish... this has to
end... tell me that it would end... that YOU would purify me when we meet
at the END... that in the end it would not matter any more...

I know I am weak... I want to seek help... guidance... I want to submit to
HIS greatness... because no matter how strong and immune I would like my
self to be... if I be left alone with the opportunity meeting/exceeding my
threshold, I know I would grab it... as that is my temptation... and I am
afraid of that!

But you know what gives me hope and confidence to go on....

You shall not be given a choice that you cannot make... My threshold would
never be exceeded...

But mind the FREE WILL!!!

Imagine a life without temptations, without limits, without boundaries,
without taste, without… everything!

Now how do you want your drink? Plain or with a twist... may be on the
rocks...

FREE WILL!!!

Hypocrisy: The state where I don’t plunge on every opportunity acting on my
temptations... but deep inside, I do want to! And I tell my self that I am
in control of my self, I don’t have such feelings about temptations. OK I
have a few temptations but I can handle it. I can resist! No, I have not
had the chance to prove; that there is no limit to the type of opportunity;
that my resistance is not bound by any threshold, but I know that I can
resist... At least I would like to believe that I can! Can’t I?

Submission: I am weak, I was made weak. Please do no put me in a situation
which I cannot resist. As such situation exists where I would not be able
to resist as I am weak.