Paki Students in the US: a Female Perspective

A long, long time ago, I read the article on this site describing 'Paki undergrads in the US', and I really enjoyed reading the descriptions of the different subtypes and their characteristics. In particular, I found the writer's characterization of the 'enduring trait' of paki female undergrads to be their 'abhorrence of paki men' to be both amusing and true. Since he and I both seem to be fond of making unqualified statements, let me continue to generalize, and provide some insight into why paki women react so violently to, and show such disdain for paki men. I've thought about writing this for a long time, but only recently got off my a$$ to do it. Based on my own personal interactions with Pakistani men and the experiences of some other female friends, I propose the following types:

1. TPA (the patronizing asshole): This is the easiest category to spot. You can almost whiff the testosterone in the air. This is the guy who is persuaded that, irrespective of who you are, what the topic under discussion is, being male gives him the right to contradict you. You could be discussing the relative leakage of different brands of tampons, this person will interrupt you, and with a smug and knowing look, proceed to explain which tampon you would be advised to use. These are the guys who are most likely to interrupt, appear uninterested, or (the worst) look amused when a woman is speaking. On the rare occasion that woman is able to prove her intellectual worth to this type of a man, he is shocked and bewildered, and raises her to the status of an honorary male. Of course, rather than modifying his view of women in general, he notes that this particular specimen, despite appearing to be anatomically female, is intellectually male.

2. The Insecure Schmuck: Arguably, the most pitiful category. This is the guy who wants to be friends with females but doesn't have the social skills to be able to do it, and the brilliant solution this Einstein comes up with to deal with this dilemma is: "Let me be totally obnoxious and make fun of you to hide my own fears and insecurities. This way you will notice me. The moment you begin to notice me may coincide with the moment that you feel a sudden, inexplicable urge to cause me permanent and irreversible damage, but at least, I won't go unnoticed". Such admirable ambitions.

3. Look-at-me-I'm-so-enlightened-category: This category is perhaps the more exasperating. These are the guys who have been around long enough to realize that being openly sexist is not cool or cute and will not endear you to anyone. However, they want credit for coming to this conclusion. They want to be patted on the head and they want their open-mindedness to be lauded, glorified even. During conversations, they will drop not-so-subtle hints of their commitment to an egalitarian relationship, and other similar BS. If you don't appear sufficiently impressed, this beacon of hope for women around the world will proceed to praise himself (I bet you haven't met many men who think like me? Huh? Huh? Am I wrong?). Girls, if you really want to have fun at this time, look this guy in the eye and proceed to tell them that you are sick and tired of all "progressive" nonsense, and you want a 'real man', the guy who has an 'oomph' to him."

4. The Religious Fanatic: Needs no introduction. A lot of social rejects belong to this category (as you may have already noticed). One of my friends swears that there is a correlation between fanaticism and being short (under 5'6") for men. The more enlightened men in this category try to show that Islam is not a misogynistic religion, and that pre-Islamic Arabia was very oppressive, and that Islam, in fact, liberated women, and how we don't need feminism because there is Islam … yadda yadda yadda. You catch my drift. Yawn. I'm so bored with this category that I'm not going to talk about them any further.

5. The secure/truly enlightened/committed to an egalitarian relationship/intellectually curious/introspective/willing to communicate/mature/sensitive category: Some people insist this category exists - I have my doubts. It's like believing in the Unseen - you don't know if they are out there but you have to believe in their existence to keep going. The overwhelming evidence indicates that they don't exist, but then there's the occasional female insisting she's spotted one (kinda like UFOs).