National Reconciliation goes truly National

Karachi - Taking a cue from the nation’s enlightened leaders people from different walks of life have decided to jump on the ‘reconciliation’ band wagon. News coming from various corners of the country speak of people coming together to forgive and grant clemency to themselves.

The National Association of Street and Petty Crimes, Karachi Chapter has announced that in the spirit of the newly presented proposal by Pervaiz Musharraf, all its members who have stolen mobiles, snatched cars and killed people over cash between the periods Jan-1985 to Sep-2007 are hereby forgiven.

“We believe in the concept of forgiveness as put by Mr. Musharraf.”, said the chairman of the Karachi Chapter. “Keeping with the honorable president’s call we have decided to forgive ourselves, just like the country’s parliamentarians have come together to forgive themselves.”

“Forgiving ourselves leaves a positive feeling for us. It lightens up any burdens any of us had. We won’t need to smoke pot or hash or drink adulterated alcohol to calm our nerves anymore. We now feel our conscience is as clear as the water of Karachi’s West Wharf.”, he added.

“To all those people whose money and phones and cars we took away, we would like to say that its now over. Lets move on as we have now forgiven ourselves.”, he said. The chairman had a glow on his face as he brandished a brand new Nokia E90 he snatched just in time to be covered by the amnesty. “When I killed the bloke whose E90 this was I got a feeling of uneasiness, despite being high on charas. But now having forgiven myself, I am extremely relaxed and feel happy to use this phone.”

Street Criminal Welfare Associations all over Pakistan have expressed similar sentiments. However some quarters have expressed concern. Some members have been upset that the phones and cars they stole in October are not covered in the amnesty and that they were not given ample time to take advantage. Some members have requested that the amnesty period be extended by a month so they can maximise activity in October 2007.

Steps for a better Pakistan have also been taken by the National Association of Organ Traders, The Muttahida Tax Evaders Alliance, The Jameeat Ahl e Milawat and also by Anjuman Baraey Shor Sharaba (ABSS). Everyone seems to be in the mood to forgive themselves.

President Musharraf and his team of yes-men have welcomed these steps as being steps in the right direction. We want to set the precedent that criminals need not feel the burden of their crimes. Its unfair that a criminal should live with the guilt of a crime. Criminals should be given the opportunity to live a life of respectability. It is their right as citizens of their country that they should be given the same respect as any other ordinary person.

“That a criminal be sent to court and punished for his actions means we are allowing victims to get revenge. Vengeance should be removed from society. And for this purpose we believe criminals should come together and forgive themselves so we save our police and courts the trouble of giving people justice.”, President Musharraf stated.