The Rabbi's Daughter

‘I pick up the heavy text in front of me, the Laws of Repentance written by Rambam and read the medieval philosopher’s advice with care because here, at the light of Zion, I am repenting.

The Rambam encourages the repentant to veer to the opposite extreme in order to fix himself. He gives the example of a greedy man who in order to repent should give lavishly to charity. When his weakness is under control, he can return to the golden middle path of balance.

The more I read, the more I feel the Rambam’s treatise has been written especially for me, Reva Mann, atoning for a multitude of sins, yearning to change my past ways and live according to Jewish law.’

Reva Mann, granddaughter of the Chief Rabbi of Israel has taken a long time coming home. Brought up in London by a father who abhorred religious show and would rather prefer that people understood the laws and not just follow blindly, Mann lived her early life in a foreign land unrestrained by cultural or religious trappings. But the emptiness of a life revolving around drugs and sex and the need to run away from a dysfunctional family and start anew brings her back to the land where she is to confront her demons…and god.

Controversial due to its detailed exposure of the orthodox side of Judaism and how it fails to bring back a self-proclaimed sinner back to the ‘golden middle path of balance’ it is a first hand account of the rediscovery of a lifestyle and faith that Mann believes is the answer she has been looking for. In her journey of redemption she has to put the addictions of her past behind, and, as the philosopher advises, be overzealous in her attempts to get back on track.

The chapters in the book, each starting with a pertinent quote from the Torah or a famous rabbi, tell the story of each struggle. The internal fight to resist temptations after moving to Israel, to get assimilated into the new society; the search for the perfect god-fearing partner, triggered by a visit to a model, holy and wholesome Jewish family; and the attempts at reconciliation between herself and her parents, who think she has lost her marbles, all is told in a blunt and honest manner that is the greatest strength of the book.

Further on, as Mann plows on in her mission to find spiritual and worldly fulfillment, she lets out the skeletons in her closet, so we can understand why she is the way she is instead of just turning up our noses at her needs and perversions. From her cosmetic surgery loving mother who has to battle with breast cancer to her Downs-afflicted sister, everything has an impact on Mann’s psyche and her decisions in later years. Her aim to be a correct Jewish wife and mother are punctuated by her attempts to understand and fulfill her faith’s rituals and traditions and the realization which keeps getting stronger—that she can never be perfect. Like the day she lets out a screams on seeing her bald son, and embarrasses everyone at her son’s upsharin, which is a sort of baptizing ceremony, where children are declared Jewish after having their hair shorn off. Or the times when her little daughter double checks with her father on any matter relating to religion, not quite sure if her mother’s ways are to be relied upon. Then comes the Gulf War, and we learn how fear unites people.


One after the other, Mann deals with all that life throws at her, from her disillusionment at orthodox religion which ultimately leads to a broken marriage, her parents’ deaths and her own battle with breast cancer, the result is woman who, through pure inner strength and will power, finds her golden balance, and the courage to tell the world how the journey really was.