Unquestionable Changes?

“Oh, how things have changed! When I was your age…”. When elders start going down memory lane, most of us tend to cover our ears or tune out the voice of lamentation. When in a similar situation, I have often given a caustic reply as to how times have changed and how it’s silly to expect things to remain static. Of course ideas change and people as a nation evolve with each new generation. Some of these changes are good, some bad but they are there to remain till another generation comes along to introduce its opinions and its norms. Traditions, fashions and beliefs also change accordingly. I think I only realized the importance of my flippant reply on last Eid when my family, as usual, got together for lunch at my place. I was quite busy moving around helping my mother, trying to get everything together for the hectic Eid lunch. I overheard my Chacha talking to my siblings and his children about the importance of the moonch (moustache). I laughed when I heard him declare, twirling his somewhat untwirlable (if there’s any such word!) moustache, “mooch nahi to kuch nahi”. We of the younger generation started laughing and his youngest son teasing informed him that it’s no longer ‘in’ to have a moustache. Chacha found that very hard to believe and he started insisting that a moustache is “manly” and “essential”. My younger brother and cousins had a good laugh over Chacha’s belief. I laughed along with them but it struck me at that moment that maybe thirty years from now, when the sassy, oiled, mustached young men of Lahore took a walk down Mall road, they were admired for their very fashionable moustache. It was probably looked after more than a favourite pet or even a parent! It had to be just the right length and colour, with a good twist here and there to give it credibility. It was at this point that I started to notice what I like to call the “valuables of the yesteryears”. They have disappeared so silently, without anyone questioning them that it’s actually incredible. Has anyone noticed that the dulha hardly ever wears the neck-breaking, flower-laden sehra anymore? Where did the sehra go? It’s almost as big a mystery as that of the Bermuda triangle, in my eyes! Wasn’t it once a part of the ‘Things to wear on the Big Day’ manual for men? The face of the groom was not shown till he entered the house of the bride. I seem to remember a particularly gangly cousin of mine who wore this sehra about ten years back and believe you me, it wasn’t particularly flattering but that’s not the point…the point is, how can something disappear so quickly, without a trace? Who decides that its passé? The fashion moguls? Strange that no one questions their disappearance. Even stranger that we tend to accept these changes so quickly, so impassively. On that note, I would like to add that there exist some old customs we could do without! Recently I heard of a mehndi (since we’re on the topic of weddings) which ended at 4:00 in the morning. Nothing strange about that, I know (ever wonder why?) but the strange part is that there were two mehndis in the same night (and yes, of the same girl and boy!). The first mehndi was at the girl’s place after which the family and guests went to the groom’s place after 11:30 at night. The groom’s family had changed their clothes and the mehndi rasam resumed at this new venue. I’ve heard this used to happen often in the villages and sometimes in cities in the ‘olden’ days. I guess my point is that when the little things in our daily lives start changing without our knowledge, we truly evolve from what we were to what we become but for a limited time before things change again.