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Neem Jahan

Quinton Zondervan October 16, 2002

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A fictional interview with a fictional leader in a fictional world-wide organization fighting for peace

Interview with Rabinder Singh, founder and member of the global
council of the international organization for peace and empowerment,
also known as "Neem Jahan", roughly meaning: "Tree of Life".

Q: Mr. Singh, tell us about Neem Jahan, and
what your organization
does exactly.

A: Neem Jahan is a global organization for peace and empowerment. We
currently estimate our active membership at roughly 1 billion people.

Q: 1 billion? That is one sixth of the world’s population!

A: That is correct. We have a very large presence in Asia, including
India, Pakistan, Indonesia, China; but we are rapidly growing in
Africa as well, and we are starting to make significant gains in North
America and Europe.

Q: But what do you do exactly?

A: Well, at the local level, people organize into chapters. A chapter
might have anywhere from 1 to 1 thousand members say. Any group of
people who have a common interest can form a chapter. Each chapter
sends a representative to a regional board. These are somewhat
misnamed, because not all regional boards are geographically based.
Regional boards again typically have no more than 1 thousand
representatives. Finally, each regional board sends a representative
to the global council, which again has about 1 thousand members. So
as you can see, we can easily fit the entire human population into
this organizational structure.

Q: So it is kind of like a world government, isn’t it?

A: Yes, you can think of it that way. But we prefer to think of it as
a tree, firmly rooted in the fertile ground of humanity, growing and
reaching its bows to a higher ideal, flowering brilliantly and
fragrantly in the process.

Q: Those are very lofty words indeed, but how do you suppose this
organization will help to better mankind?

A: Well, when I started this organization it was because I realized
that the world is like a chicken coop where all the chickens are running
around randomly with their heads chopped off. When those chickens
join the Neem Jahan, they start moving together more cohesively, and
eventually their heads begin to grow back! Young chickens who are
introduced to the organization at an early enough age never lose their
heads in the first place!

Q: You are full of fancy metaphors, Mr. Singh, but I’m still trying to
pin you down!

A: (laughs) Yes, well, you see, Neem Jahan is based on consensus
decision making. Each local chapter makes local decisions, and also
makes decisions on proposals from their regional board and from the
global council. In addition, they receive financial support to
carry out their initiatives. These could be anything from
providing education, providing health care, building infrastructure,
to disarmament and conflict removal.

Q: Yes, now it’s getting interesting. So tell me about your funding.
How is Neem Jahan funded?

A: Well, we employ a similar mechanism to most religious organizations:
anonymous donations.

Q: Neem Jahan is not, however, a religious organization, correct?

A: That’s right. We obviously have members belonging to all major
religions of the world. Each local chapter is self-funded by
its members, but may receive additional financial support from its
regional board if necessary. The regional boards and the global
council also receive separate funding through volunteer donations.

Q: But you say these donations are anonymous?

A: That is correct. To avoid any kind of attempt to influence members
of the organization, it is illegal to accept funds that are not given
anonymously. If that were to happen we would return the funds to the
donor. We keep no record of who gives us money or how much; all
donations are accepted through third party financial institutions, and
we make it very clear that the money must not be in any way traceable!

Q: Very interesting; now tell me about this notion of conflict
removal. How does that work?

A: Well, our first attempt at conflict removal was in Afghanistan two
years ago. We were not very successful initially, but our ongoing
efforts there are now paying off phenomenally! Most of the warlords
have been disarmed, and local chapters of Neem Jahan are thriving
throughout that devastated region. The people there are rebuilding
their infrastructure, rebuilding their educational system, their
economy, and their government.

Q: Right, but how did you accomplish this disarmament?

A: A Peace Intervention as we call it starts by the global
organization sending in an "army" of volunteers. In the case of
Afghanistan we mobilized about 1 thousand people to "invade" that
country. Our subsequent intervention in Kashmir was accomplished with
about 10 thousand volunteers. And we hope to send at least 100
thousand into Iraq.

Q: And what do these volunteers do once they get there?

A: The first thing they do is start a massive recruiting effort! We
are always recruiting globally of course, but as we learned quickly in
Afghanistan, it is vitally important to rapidly establish thriving
local chapters in order to succeed. This process generally takes
several months, in Afghanistan it took about 1 year to reach critical
mass. Once established, these local chapters immediately begin to
disarm combatants, build infrastructure, and provide for the basic
needs of the local people. Think of Neem Jahan as a magnifying glass;
we take the collective financial, physical and intellectual resources
of 1 billion people, and focus them on the most troubled areas of the
world.

Q: But how do you disarm combatants when you have no weapons? I
assume that your volunteers are unarmed?

A: Yes, of course! But it is really very simple. We recruit the
combatants into our organization, and then convince them to abandon
the armed conflict and join our efforts instead. We have literally
convinced soldiers to turn their swords into plows!

Q: But that seems improbable doesn’t it? That these warlords in
Afghanistan, or terrorists in Kashmir, or government army soldiers
would suddenly see the light and lay down their weapons?

A: Not at all. We think of it like this: everyone is a member of Neem
Jahan, by birth. All we are doing is urging them to activate their
membership. The key is to show them how successful we are as an
organization, and communicate to them very clearly that they are
welcome to join us, and share in our success. Once they see that we
can provide them with food, with shelter, with water, with medical
care, with financial assistance, and most important of all, with
peace, they will join us literally on the spot!

Q: As we have indeed seen to some extend in Afghanistan and Kashmir.
But do you really take credit for removing those conflicts, and do you
believe you can accomplish the same thing again in Iraq?

A: Absolutely. We can safely take credit for removing those
conflicts, because "we" now includes the majority of the people
physically involved in those conflicts! We will employ the same
tactics in Iraq, and we are very confident of victory.

Q: You think that you will convert American soldiers to your cause?

A: Absolutely. Once they realize that with us they can truly be "the
best that you can be" they will not hesitate for a moment.

Q: But not all of them will see things your way?

A: Of course not. But most of the Iraqi soldiers will. And if there
are no Iraqi soldiers to fight, the American soldiers will leave.
They will simply have no reason to stay. All the corruption, the
anger, the hatred, the imperialism, all of it melts around our tree,
like heavy stinking coats the are cast away by their weary wearers.
Through us they become empowered to start over, and to get it right.

Q: And you feel comfortable sending hundreds of thousands of
volunteers into a dangerous hostile situation like this? After all,
this will be all out war, not a small regional conflict like Afghanistan or
Kashmir!

A: These are highly trained people, who know what to do. In fact many
of them are former soldiers and combatants! They were prepared to die
for their former causes, they are even more prepared to die for the
cause of peace and self determination! We will intervene in any armed
conflict anywhere in the world. We are like humanity’s immune system,
fighting the cancers that grow within the body. And our volunteers
are not afraid to die in the process, because they know that through
their sacrifice they will bring about world peace.

Q: Do you think you will succeed in bringing about world peace?

A: Absolutely. World peace can only be achieved when all the fish in
the school are swimming in the same direction to avoid the sharks.
Neem Jahan gives people the necessary tools and the necessary
empowerment to do so. Once people are empowered to direct their own
lives, and to live in peace with their neighbors, there is no need for
war, no need for weapons of mass destruction, and eventually, there
will be no need for national governments as they exist today.
Instead, the people of the world will finally and truly govern
themselves!

Q: Are you concerned that by forming essentially a world government,
and if you are successful, bringing about world peace, that you might
fulfill the Christian scriptures of Revelation, and bring about the
Rapture?

A: I’m not concerned at all. In fact, I believe the Rapture has
already begun (laughs).

What we cannot have in reality, we can enjoy in fantasy. And who knows? Sometimes dreams become reality. Remember, you read it here first.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction! Any resemblance to reality is an unexpected bonus.

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