LFO, Security Council and then Bijli Gaee...

One of the best things about living away from home is living away from home. I mean, the more I read about what’s happening back home, the less I learn of what’s happening back home. If you still don’t get what I’m trying to say, then you’ve got my point exactly: there is no point in knowing what’s happening back home!

You see, for the past few months I’ve been scanning our local newspaper websites regularly. And have come to the following conclusion: our recent scientific discovery of the incredible Low Flying Objects (also known as LFO) fails to attract any attention from the international scientific community. First, I thought may be this discovery rests at its initial stages, you know, masterminds/thinktanks/intellectuals trying to determine the exact origin and magnitude, etc etc. But then, day after day, week after week, when LFO continued to occupy all our major dailies’ main heads, I finally made the following conclusion: The international community is simply not interested in our indigenous scientific capabilities.

Our government, and the huge silent majority, I have learnt through more visits to local websites, supports a vigorous manhunt for Al-Qaeda absconders within our borders, and especially Pakistani territory outside our borders (namely one province called FATA). They say the writ of our government is not operational in those federally administered tribal areas. We should find and lock those who say that before some rogue country realizes what ’they’ are saying and occupies yet another Pakistani territory, forcing us to call it Azad FATA.

I also found out, through more in-depth analysis of various news-content, that in a gesture of goodwill, the United States has generously offered all Pakistani immigrants on its soil to the Canadian government. According to one Canadian official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, the U.S. government made this offer only after learning that Canada houses one of the largest ex-Pakistani communities in the world, who, to American amazement, live rather peacefully, and none of them have been reported to be a terrorist todate.

All this led me to believe that we are indeed, becoming conspicuously invisible from the world’s state of affairs.

My suspicions were further fuelled by the recent dramatic events at the United Nations Security Council. In order to efficiently present what I mean, here’s a recent excerpt from a live news-coverage from an international news-channel of good repute:

Anchor: "... and as you can see the French Foreign Minister has just concluded his speech at the Security Council... we’re standing by to hear the foreign minister of Chile to make his opening remarks... and here we go... let’s hear what he has to say..."

(Chilean Foreign Minister Live on all global networks for 20 minutes)

Anchor: "That was the Chilean Foreign Minister... and now let’s go live again to New York, where the UN representative of Rwanda has just started his speech..."

(Rwandan representative live on all networks for 25 minutes)

Anchor: "That was the Rwandan representative at the Security Council, and now I beleive the Paykistaynian representative is making his remarks... so while he does that, we’ll take you live to LONDON where we’re joined by a panel of experts discussing the speeches given by Chilean and Rwandan representatives...

(Heated debate on Chilean and Rwandan speeches as long as Paykistaynian representative is shown live only on a Private TV channel in Madagascar)

Extremely alarmed at these developments, one day I decided to call up my parents back home, hoping to find them, lest they too have become suddenly invisible. What a great joy when my brother picked up the phone and hurriedly hung up after informing that bijli had just arrived and it was time for him to turn on the water-pump before it was too late. Everything normal, I beamed with thankful pleasure, and stopped visiting websites anymore.