Of Nostalgia in Saudi Arabia

Last night while reading the newspaper, I realized that I have completed 8 years of my existence in Saudi Arabia. How quickly the time passed! It was eight years ago that I first landed in this country. Having no clues about the customs and traditions of this men oriented place, I landed on 4 March 1996. As the flight grew nearer to Jeddah, I could see females taking out their abayahs and scarves and hastily putting them on. I had only one tension that my husband should be at the airport. Since females without a male member could not come out of the airport.

Saudi Arabia is the only country in the world where women cannot drive even in case of an emergency. Only men have the pleasure of driving a car. There are times when I have to wait in my car with no parking but unlike the rest of the world, I cannot sit in the driving seat even to drive an inch! However, I am not the only one. There are many women who step out of their cars, hand over the keys to a total stranger whose car their men blocked to buy food from a joint, and wait till he hands them the keys back.

If you just happen to take a walk in any park, you will notice the number of maids accompanying their kids. So, what do Saudi women do when their kids are having a ride in the park? one wonders. Women here are very conscious of their looks. Streets are filled with beauty parlors, which are called ladies centers. You can even get a manicure and a haircut at home. To attend coffee mornings and women only dance parties is a daily ritual among the affluent members of the society. Shopping is the best time pass for them. To talk about sale at Nine West and Saks Fifth Avenue is equivalent to discuss a book by Somerset Maugham. Even expatriate women have nothing better to do then become a part of this culture.

Eight years ago, when I was planning to join my better half in Jeddah my friends were worried for me. ’You will suffocate there,’ they always said. However, I got so busy with my family for six years that I had no time in between to think about myself. I turned into a complete housewife totally forgetting about my job as an editor of a magazine in my own country. I spent my time in setting up a home, making tapestries, bringing up a kid, and cooking. I confess that I can make a cake, cook nihari, arrange elaborate dinners at the drop of a hat but to write a few lines is an uphill task for me now.

During my first few years in Jeddah, the mere mentioning of my journalistic career would leave people silent. A woman working in a newspaper!

Now with my daughter in a school, my hubby busy with his traveling and job, I feel that I am wasting myself to an extent. ’You should start writing,’ everyone tells me. But coming back is not easy for me. I feel the immense pressure of a mental block! All I can think of is the recipe of a chocolate cake or chicken biryani. I curse myself, yes, I should have continued writing.

No doubt that my life is easy here. I have all the luxuries of life that a woman can wish for, but I feel a black hole in my personality. Is this only because of living in this desert away from my roots and branches, or is there something else. I sit at my computer stare at it and then shut it off again. You can do it Saman, my better half tells me. ‘ Yeah, I just need a little push,’ I answer in a placid tone.