Servility

Strolling aimlessly I wonder how spring elegantly matures into summer. Summer radiant with warmth and hope…promising birth…giving way to life. Life as it exists in my memory today. As I walk by this bench, nostalgia makes me weak. Or is it the intensity of what once was that drains away my conscience.

The very first time I saw her was on this moss green bench. It must have been smelling of fresh paint, proud of its beautiful green glow in its youth. But today, it holds itself erect with pride…pride of perseverance. Such esteem could only be complimented with an equally overpowering presence. An existence that commanded respect…and there she was.

Her head tilted slightly to the left, hair falling on her shoulders…perfectly framing her face…contouring every bone, eyes narrowed to focus, right side of her neck stretching out beautifully into a curve, shoulders drooping slightly...heavy with thought and hands resting on her thighs…devoid of movement. She was motionless, as still as the proud bench she rested on. It seemed everything around her had been contrived meticulously for that specific instant…a moment…when I rested my eyes on her. I was an intruder.

An intruder who stood as a disciple…worshipping all that was unsaid…bowing to silence. I could not help but move towards this divine creature. Craving to be a part of her. I sat at the other end…a little far from her. Her skin was moist, protecting her…from me perhaps…

It was then that I felt movement…around her lips. A quiver…marking the beginning of a revelation. And at that precise second, I knew why I was sitting there…beside her…a few inches away. It all made sense…me being here today of all days, in this park, across this bench. Never had I seen such inviting beauty. She turned her head. Facing me, she smiled. A seemingly lifeless mouth curved delicately…with it spreading carnal want inside me. I could not speak. Rather did not dare to…for fear of blemishing this perfection.

Her lips parted, only to breathe. Enticing me. And now, completely overwhelmed by her silent authority, I stood up and stepped towards her…to shield her…from everything. For I had become mindless with desire and wanted only my eyes to see her. Such perfection must not be shared. As my face shadowed hers, I could feel her breath on me. A breath that was cold…cold and sharp enough to cut through my skin. Giving me pleasure I craved.

The quiver had been temporary, for now her lips lay lifeless. I could not help but want to feel them. Taking her lower lip between mine, I kissed her. Satisfied. Ignited.

Weak with want…I stepped back, for I had accepted defeat…as a slave I withered…into nothingness.