Pseudo-Saviors, Pseudo-Leaders

After half a century of deleterious experiments we should have realized by now that dictatorship breeds only sycophants and spineless stooges, not leaders. Watching so-called political leaders crowing for a general and begging him to sit atop them in his uniform, is sickening, to say the least. Would it be wrong to contend that we have this pathetic lot of politicians because dictators have never allowed men of principles to take root? The despicable bunch we have is the best decades of dictatorship could crop up. Men of dignity, character, moral conviction and political sagacity cannot appear out of political vacuum.

Pseudo-leaders cloned by pseudo-saviours imposed on the nation by pseudo-soldiers, seems to be our destiny. In all likelihood, the ongoing conveyer belt transplantations of prime ministers will soon end up like the badly battered face of Michael Jackson – with “implanted” patches about to trill apart anytime, ultimately rendering the original structure neither recognisable nor curable. Sadly, the bizarre cosmetic operations in progress doesn’t augur well for Pakistan either. With all inherent anomalies of the grossly inconsistent system very much intact, the most recent experimentation too would inevitably collapse, sooner than later.

Take my words for it, just a matter of time, we will be at the square one, all over again – as so many times before. Alas, sooner or later, the much-cherished unity of command will definitely devour the handpicked incumbent formation as well and even the non-political technocrat will meet the fate of his predecessors. A long-term political stability in the country will therefore remain an elusive dream as ever for a foreseeable future.

Meantime, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the foremost reason behind the recurring miscarriages lies with the incoherent choice of players. Having tried every possible permutation and combination, it is pretty obvious by now that what we desperately need, past our 57th anniversary, is a sort of dream team comprising of players bearing impregnable political genes on one hand, requisite grooming on the other hand - bossed by a savvy, enlightened and moderate uniformed saviour.

One such subset could be as follows:

Ejaz ul Haq as prime minister; Anwar ul Haq as foreign minister.
Gohar Ayub as 1st deputy prime minister assisted by Omar Ayub Khan as finance minister.
Ali Yahya Khan as 2nd deputy prime minister.
While Humayun Akhtar Khan and Haroon Akhtar Khan serving as senior ministers at large. To garnish it fuhther, some four-star sons-in-law and daughters-in-law can be put on as special advisers.
And rest of the cabinet composed of only ex-generals with one serving general each as a minister of state. Or vice versa.

Don’t you think that with a configuration of the sort, covering all indispensable family lines and institutional talent, our entire political and social problems would stand instantly solved. Could it be simpler than that? Unbelievable, we have been wandering around in political wilderness for decades, when in fact, the whole mess can be sorted out in one minor sweep.

Similarly, on August 25th, when he resigned, Shujaat Hussain became the only civilian prime minister in Pakistan’s chequered history to have served a full term in office. Except Shujaat Hussain no prime minister has ever had privilege to complete his tenure. This grand tradition must be continued.

Hopefully, to pseudo-intellectuals, the latest surgical operation would have vividly illustrated that one of the major hinders for smooth transition of power is the unnecessary long period given to the civilian head of government by the Constitution. This fatal flaw needs to be dealt with, at the earliest.

From now on, in supreme national interests while being pragmatic, the term of the prime minister should be cut down to 60 days. At the same time, to follow the already well-entrenched custom without nonsensical quibbling, the period of COAS-cum-Presidents of Pakistan ought to be fixed at 600 weeks, as a minimum. One more mini LFO of the kind and there we go.

Likewise, only fools can dare disagree that for strengthening true democracy, delivering cure and performing miracles in our peculiar political environment, cyclic replacement of the figurehead, cosmetic shuffling within and steady expansion of the cabinet every few months, is the only way out – to keep the nation hibernated. Look around; everyone is dazzled with the credentials and quality of the old-new squad.

Another story that we have lost half of our country but the number of generals and ministers has gone up 4 times - the population growth taken in account. Good governance in Pakistan must be akin to quadrupling the size of upper echelons. Massive sacking of lower cadres in the name of rightsizing, hyperinflation at the top must be some advance political theory beyond the limited understanding of ordinary mortals.

Outshining nation states in our immediate vicinity is no extraordinary feat. Nothing to brag about either if we have more ministers and generals per capita than all other countries in South Asia. We should be proud of that the cabinet of the sole super power in the world, the U.S. with 280 million citizens is only one third of the size of ours. Who cares for the quality as long as our ministers and general can outnumber all and sundry?

The Punjab chief minister and recently elected head of the Punjab PML Chaudhry Pervaiz Elahi has argued that General Musharraf should stay in uniform as the COAS for at least five years to ensure political and economic stability and continuity of the policies of the past five years. Patriots want him, in uniform for 10 more years. That would mean 10 + 5 = 15 years, beating all his predecessors. Great.

I say Musharraf should stay 100 years - provided majority of Pakistanis want him to stay. And by that I mean only and only if he has the courage to face the voters and seek their approval without playing around with civilized norms of electoral procedures. Not just tailor-made distorted opinion polls, please. With his self-professed unparalleled [even internationally] 96 % approval rate, this wouldn’t be any problem at all. By the way, may I very humbly ask one question? Is it possible, let alone probable that Mr Musharraf would relinquish his uniform or presidential office even in 2007? Would all of our problems have solved by then, the rationale being given for his reneging promise given publicly to the nation on prime-time TV?

Salaam Pakistan.