I know nothing about theater. Serious. I just love watching theater plays. I love the encapsulation and unraveling of stories, people and emotions in front of a live kicking hooting audience within two hours. I love the symbiotic relationship I share with the people on stage for those odd two hours. I just love all that. But I know nothing about Theater. So all that I profess below is based on my love and ignorance.

"Yea!" I thought to myself, "a Zia Mohyeuddin play" - well not exactly! It really was Chekhov's play, but with names like Zia Mohyeuddin, Talat Hussain, Rahat Kazmi, Anjum Ayaz my drool preceded me into the beautiful Arts Council auditorium.

It was nice to see Mr. Zia all tense about his play. I imagine, like any good director, he must have been a nightmare to his cast, sets, lighting, sound and music artists - more so because he was quite a nightmare to all those entering the auditorium late, or with a slow shuffle or yakking on their cell phones. Zia Sb had loud mumbles and grumbles for all such "imbeciles" and "ill-mannered" people. I just needed to hand him a sari and jharoo and replace his heavily accented Bard's English with a dash of gujrati and it could well be my mom admonishing me for coming late! Of course Mr. Zia himself lit up a little ciggie every now n then which I am sure was well within the etiquettes of theater. Right?

Habib Mamoo is the story of Habib Mamoo (Talat Hussain) who has spent his whole life looking after his mother & his sister's family. His plain looking niece Saleema (Nyla Jaffery) too has similarly lived a life of servitude. While Nyla Jaffery smothers her jealousy for her father's beautiful second wife Durdana (Ameyn Ali), both Habib Mamoo (Talat Hussain) and Dr. Salman Durrani (Rahat Kazmi) are in love with Ms. Ameyn. While Nyla Jaffery pines and pines for the doctor's love, he has eyes for Durdana (Ameyn) only. Well then nothing really happens except everyone goes their own way. C’mon – Chekhov was never really one to have dramatic twists n turns in his story. Thus, greater the onus of responsibility on the actors.

My drool receded to the extent of drying up my throat as I saw Rahat Kazmi open the play. He was as good as any guy cast in a school play – well - a Grad School play. I kept reminding myself that I had come to a Zia Moheyuddin play and the latter lit up another ciggie behind me.

Mr. Kazmi did not dare experiment with this role – he could have been a little bit more lecherous or a little bit more shallow or a little bit more loveable, but all he did was be a little bit more boring than he could have been.

Nyla Jaffery was stoicism, dignity and hardwork personified. Her body language, diction, expression did complete justice to her angst-ridden role.

The silent servant of the play got more emotion from the audience than comic-hair Jahanara Hai and Arshad Mahmud put together so the less said the better.

Ms. Ameyn managed to create a place for herself as the play proceeded. Her main asset was beauty both in the play and otherwise. The fact that she must be thrilled to be a part of such a stellar power house package was evident in her critique of the audience on Dawn News. She thought we the audience laughed at all the wrong places. She thought we the audience “need to be educated” about theater. Ouch! Zia sb’s cigarette hurt me less little lady! Firstly, darling Ameyn, we came to see your play – give us a little respect. Secondly, our ability to laugh, clap, hoot, whistle, cry, jump, sing, dance is completely in your hands for those two hours. God help you if you had to come out the air-conditioned auditorium to teach people through theater about family planning! Wonder what you’d say to the audience then? Your audience is plebian dear girl – I know I am a plebian – just don’t rub it in my face.

I feel small using the word “brilliant” for Talat Hussain. I feel even smaller writing about him. So I will stop at that. When the play ended and the audience gave a standing ovation to everyone… I just waited my turn for Mr. Talat Hussain to take the bow.

PS: The sets were beautifully designed, but the sound could have done with major improvement. Maybe a sister department at NAPA can be of help next time?