I miss you

Jun 24, 2005

She was smiling. Her lips curved into a soft smile. Her eyes were closed as she slept floating happily in a dream where she was with him. He held out his hand and she placed hers in his and let him lead her into a garden twinkling with fairy lights. She felt light as a feather her bare feet barely touching the ground as she followed him. He smiled lovingly over his shoulder down at her and her eyes shone back with .

She wanted this walk to carry on forever. She willed in her dream to make it last forever, but the darkening of clouds overhead, the mist that started to thicken around her turned her dream into a nightmare just like every night..

Her eyes desperately sought him ahead, she could only feel his hand closed around hers and not see him. The twinkling lights faded out the cool soft breeze turned crisp and uncomfortable sending shivers down her spine. She carried on walking stumbling over little rocks that cut at her bare feet.

"Usman!" she called out. Reached out and grabbed nothing but swirling mist that twirled around her empty hand where his hand had been. Head bowed tears trailing down her cheeks she stopped walking. The wind whistled tauntingly past her ears. Very faintly she heard his voice call out to her sadly "Aleeza"...the wind carried it away far far away...

The smile turned into a sob. Aleeza sat up, her heart pounded as she woke fully from the dream that had been haunting her for months. She sat in the dark listening to the clock ticking away trying to get rid of the deep grief she was feeling. Turning her head she stared down at the empty space beside her and felt her sorrow claw at her insides.

He was really gone. Aleeza pulled the covers over herself and laid down on his side and buried her face in the pillow "I miss you" she whispered.

Pretending to feel his arms wrapping around her she let herself make believe that he was here and not in a grave all alone and cold. He was never coming back. The realisation as always hit her, burnt her, twisted her heart and then the pain escaped through her closed eyelids as tears dampened the pillow from which his unique smell comforted her gently taking her back to restless sleep...