Save me from my well wishers because they are killing me with kindness. September 9, 2005 was my last day at work. I went a little later than the usual to my office that morning. As I entered the office, my secretary handed me a telephone message; it was from a Pakistani engineer working in another division of the department, one of my many well wishers. I called him back.

W(ell) W(isher): “Gill Sahib, I learned just this morning that today is your last day at work. I had heard that you’d decided to retire but hadn’t realized it was so soon.”
G(ill): “Oh yes, it’s today.”
WW: “What was the hurry? Why so soon?”
G: “It’s difficult to answer these questions because they will pop up whenever I decide to retire. Thanks for your kind thoughts.”
WW: “Do you have plans for your retirement?”
G: “Not really. It’s okay because I didn’t make many plans in my whole life anyhow. My life was mostly unplanned. I did a little bit of planning at the time of getting employment and before that for my educational career. In between, I have lived from one day to another and it has worked out well.”
WW: “But, no, seriously, you need some plans otherwise how are you going to spend your retirement?”

In the meanwhile, my administrative assistant entered the room and was waiting to talk to me.

G: “It’s going to be okay.”
WW: “Now you’ll have more time to socialize. Now you’ll not have any excuse for not coming to our functions.”
G: “No, I will not.”
WW: “My house is not very far from the area where you live. Please come to see us as often as possible.”
G: “Yes, we’ll.”

This conversation was continuing without end. I winked to my assistant to grab a seat and she did.



WW: “Why don’t you work with a Consulting Engineering firm? People know you and your talent and experience; it wouldn’t be difficult to find some work.”
G: “Oh no, I don’t intend to do any professional work after retirement from here. Thanks again for your kind thoughts. We’ll have plenty of time to talk about these things some other day. Please excuse me; somebody is here in my office. Let me check what she wants or how can I help her? Salam and be well.”

My administrative assistant and my secretary together with other colleagues were hosting a farewell luncheon in my honor and she wanted to inform me of some necessary details about it.

After she left, another south-Asian engineer walked in. His opening shot was: “Couldn’t you change your retirement plan? Couldn’t you postpone it for a later date because I and other engineers would be deprived of your guidance?” Every time he came to see me he would open his conversation with similar sentences. I knew he meant well but I was fed up with it. I kept quiet. Then he suggested, “You should write a book. You know hydrology so well. To him hydraulics (my specialization) and hydrology were the same things.” I said that I’m finished with engineering; I will do something else.

WW: “Gill Sahib, take good care of your health. It’ll be good if you buy a treadmill machine and keep it in your basement.”

I had told him several times before that I went to Bally Total Fitness regularly, at least twice a week, for work out. He would insist that I should keep a treadmill at home too. I knew he doesn’t go to any health club and was fairly certain that he doesn’t have a treadmill at home. He is planning to retire next year. We went over the same things again and again which we had discussed many a time in the past.

Maybe people don’t have variety of topics to talk about. This reminds of a doctor friend of mine; we were together in Nigeria. One day I was sitting with him and his wife in their house at the breakfast table and he started filling me up with all the new scandals that he had heard. His wife irritatingly said to him, “Kiya saveray saveray scandals bataanay shroo kar diyay hain? Koi aur baat naheen haiy karnay ko kiya?” He replied, “Okay darling, I am shut up; let us talk about something else.” There was nothing else to talk about. We finished our breakfast in silence and returned to the living room. After a brief chit-chat, I took my leave.

Many of us don’t like to talk about weather like the Britons. This is such a neutral topic that one could talk about it for quite a while without encroaching upon any coveted personal space. But it is far too insipid for many of us. Many like to talk about politics and religion but the perils of such discussions are heated disagreements and many a time tasteless and aggressive endings.

Anyhow coming back to my retirement, the party went well. People spoke of how good a mentor and gentle and a good boss I was and all of them said they would miss me. I believed them although on similar occasions for others in the past, I had thought that such things were said customarily and they meant nothing much. Now, I was quite pleased to hear them. I received a letter of appreciation from the Board of Water Commissioners also which was signed by the Board President. I got some gifts too.

Next morning, I was surfing on my computer and reading critical and very interesting comments of Asma Eitezaz on “Friendship between Asian women and men,” a topic which was initiated by the founder of the web site of “Family of the Heart,” and was still engulfed in the euphoria of my retirement party, when the telephone rang. The phone call was for my wife who was not home. So I took the call. The caller was a longtime friend whom we knew from Nigeria. Her husband had died last year and she is now living with her married oldest daughter in the neighborhood.

F(riend): “So, do you have plans for your retirement? Plans are very important; without a plan you don’t know what to do with so much time?”

She herself had been a working woman so she knew something of what she was talking about, I thought.

G: “No, I don’t have any plans but it’s no big deal.”
F: “If you got bored what would you do?”
G: “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”
F: “But planning is helpful all the same.”

I agreed with her concluding the conversation. The boredom of listless retired life cannot be more boring and exhausting than these notes of concern from my well wishers. I hope my retired life wouldn’t be so boring that I might need Dr. Kevorkian’s facilitation. He also probably is not around to help anybody; he is locked up in some prison.

My euphoria of the pleasant memories of the previous day’s party evaporated and I started thinking what to do next, which was not all that difficult. My weekend’s routine is all pre-set from my past habits. I went downstairs, started the coffee maker to brew coffee, measured my sugar level which was somewhat higher than usual (I had consumed a large piece of baklava from the party last night), prepared the breakfast and ate it with a couple of coffees. I went to Bally for work out, returned and took a shower and went out for lunch at Bahamas Breeze with my wife and oldest son. This was my first time at the Breeze and the restaurant was good and spacious with pleasing décor. The lunch was also good. After my return from lunch, I pressed a shirt. It was already five ‘o’ clock and at six p.m. I had to be at a wedding reception with my wife. The Saturday was done.

I had no worries for the next day (Sunday) and the succeeding days. So far my problem is not preponderance of spare time; it is with its shortage. I have plenty to do and hardly any time to think about my retirement. My well wishers are unnecessarily worried about me and my retirement. As long as I stay healthy, there isn’t much to worry about.

I hardly found time to finish this piece.