The Sugar Coated Shaft

It is now official – the party has begun though 95% of the population of Pakistan is not invited, but then the plebs have never been on the guest lists since the birth of this country in 1947.

On Monday the 6th of June, a glib and shifty Omar Ayub Khan with his Hitler-esque mustache presented the budget for 2005-2006 to the National Assembly. It was immediately termed “people friendly” by the Government but on what basis is anyone’s guess.

Later in the evening while on a talk show hosted by Mr. Mir on Geo, Mr. Ayub stated that the Federal Cabinet spent two hours discussing the prices of tomatoes and potatoes which have been spiraling!

God, did I giggle hysterically! At a press conference after the budget Mr. Shaukat Aziz stated that he had personally gone and bought sugar at a Utility Store for 23 rupees a kilogram. By this time I was rolling on the floor. My wife and two dogs just staring at me like I’d lost my mind.

I laughed for two reasons. The first is the absurdity of the whole term “people friendly” being applied to this budget, and the second reason is watching the mighty fall and stoop so low. None of our leaders are “awami” leaders, yet they try so hard to project this image of how they care so much about the common man. Mr. Aziz who has probably never bought sugar in his life was forced to walk into a store and do so just so that he could get a sound bite in.

And as Umar Ayub stated the Government is now on a “war footing” to bring down inflation in the Land of the Pure we can expect many great things. The only word of caution I would lend the Honorable Minister is that he doesn’t try to borrow a page from his late grandfather’s political strategy book otherwise we’re in deep trouble.

The Government has managed to keep all it’s constituencies happy; unfortunately this doesn’t include the average Jamshed on the street (I substitute Jamshed for Joe). The Defense budget has been increased by a hefty amount hence keeping the Generals and Jawans happy by keeping them in plenty of jam and real estate. The Civil Servants (without much being civil about them) have seen their salaries and pensions increase because they’ve been working very hard lately.

Cars over 1800 cc have seen their duties fall so hell if you can’t afford to buy a locally made Mehran and pay the 50,000 rupees premium on it you can just wait for the new Mercedes. The dry cleaners and the dhobis had a strong lobby this time around and they’ve managed to get the sales tax abolished as did the manufacturers of detergent and soap; so even if the people of this land can’t afford atta they can stay clean. “Shaaf Safaaf Pakistan”!

But the real winners have been big businesses and the agricultural sector who have seen duties and taxes slashed across the board. Now isn’t it interesting that most of the “public’s” representatives in the National Assembly are either landlords or businessmen? I wonder what prompted these tax breaks? Meanwhile back at the farm, the 95% of this country otherwise known as the “silent majority” are wondering what all this gibberish means for them.

Well fellow members of the silent majority it’s simple – you don’t get any invites to any of the parties that’ll be happening post-budget. Interestingly enough daily wages in Karachi have fallen from 180 rupees a day to 150 rupees a day despite the Government’s claims that jobs have been created. Also adding to the woes of double digit inflation (11 to 15% depending on whom you want to believe) is the fact that in the last fiscal year 1.6 million unemployed people were added to the national economy.

Did I mention that in percentage terms the allocation for education has actually gone down this year? And the nay-sayers have the gall to say that this Government doesn’t spend enough on education!

On the positive side the economy has grown by 8.1% and that’s a good thing though I’m not so sure about the whole “trickle down” effect, because we haven’t seen much trickling down anywhere. And while I’m sure we’ll catch pictures of the post-budget celebration party at Poopie’s in Good Times, where the rich and the famous down caviar and truffles with their bubbly; the ghareeb awam can count on eating some Utility Store sugar along with a roti as they should be.

Mssrs. Aziz and Ayub, I do have one question though. Why hasn’t any real estate transaction been taxed in this budget? Could it be because everyone in Islamabad is heavily involved in the real estate business? Could it that files are being bought and sold by the mighty of this land that they don’t want their names disclosed? It would be good for “democracy” that the people be shown the real estate holdings of every major politician and government official and their spouses/relatives. In the meanwhile the party goes on….