cinema verites

Was cleaning out my closet. Found this in an old edition of Reader’s Digest.

CINEMA VERITES
Things we have learned from current movies:
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices that have large red readouts telling when they’re going to go off.
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip joint atleast once.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises only while wearing their most revealing underwear.
When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at one man, if he is the hero.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts--your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one.