Visit To The Desi Barber

I was sitting in the barber shop, getting my regular cut.
My hajjaam (nai) who desperatley needed a nai himself, was
tending to my locks. His fingers worked like bijli over
my hair.

The door opens and this guy walks in, or rather strutted-
in with his two kids. They were all wearing those sindhi
caps. The guy asked for his favorite Nai, "usTaaD nahi
hai saieN ?". He was told, "Nai, wou Tou abhi nahi aaya".
He looked around with a mixture of disbelief and distaste
for his surroundings-minus-usTaaD and then turned around
on his heels and left.

"BaRa nakhra hai iss ka", quipped the nai working to my
right. "Acha..." says my nai (this was said in a tone
that wished to ellicit more). "HaaN, baRa shor kar raha
Tha yea uss Din. MaiNney bhee khaRka-kai-rakh-Diya-Tha
iss kou!" said the nai on the right. He then threw back
his collar and his shoulders in unison. An ape would’ve
probably jumped around and thumped his chest.

It seemed a little strange, for him to be talking ill of a
customer right in front other customers. This wasn’t a
whisper, it was an alal aey’laan.

The guy in the chair to my right, who looked like a thor-
ough gentleman got up and paid for his shave and haircut.
I noticed he left a generous (25%) tip, which was accepted
with a smile, a courteous bow and a hand on the heart by
the nai(ape). When he was gone, this same nai starts up
again. This time he loudly castigated the guy who he had
just worked on, for not being able to make up his mind:

"Aa jaTey haiN , paTa hoTa nahi hai kiya karvana hai!. Aesay
hee mera iTna time zaya kiya. Pora DeeRdh ghanTa! . Arey
shoro meiN keh DeyTa, kai bhai meray baal chotay kar Dou,
maiN machine laga DeyTa. BaaT khaTam. Par nahi, iss kou
kabhi yahaN sey chotay karvaney Thay, kabhi wahaN sey...",
he went on and on. My nai would just grunt now and then,
to keep the fires agoing.

Now I forgot everything and started thinking what these
guys were going to say about me, after *I* leave their shop.
Hmmm, had I given him direct instructions ?. Had I been
polite ?. Not too whiny, or schticky...I hope. Drat!, he
is not sticking to the program...he’s missing hair...now
should I tell him ?, or wait ?. I wonder if he’ll take it
the wrong way. Oh I *do* wanna be popular!, I wanna be
loved, I want the respect of their nai-community...but I
love my hair too. Oh, what to do! ?.

I ended up nagging the nai and getting the haircut that
I had wanted. I don’t know how much damage I did , but he
seemed to open up his entire baTeesi when he saw the tip
I left.

Sadly, I had come to know through experience, what lay
behined that smile and bow. He’ll be grunting in a sec...