Valentine’s Day & The Revenge Of The Herds

It is Valentine’s eve and I was trying to watch some news. To
see how the west is trying to screw Pak today. Instead, I am
inundated with laal laal ads. Television waley are flashing
these incessant messages across the tube, "Hope your Valentine’s
Day is AS wonderful, as YOU are. Best wishes (insert channel
name with red hearts)".

HaiN ? . What kinda backhanded slap is that ?. Reshami romaal
meiN single’s kou lapeeT kar joTay marey ja rahey haiN.

Let’s say your Valentine’s Day is, well, aweiN sa, not very
supeyshul. Does that mean (by the laws of reverse analogies)
that YOU are not supeyshul & wonderful ab ?. "Hey! I was
feeling just fine until you mentioned it and now (damn
you) I guess I should start feeling lousy, kal sey ?".

You have no choice. The only way to feel good about yourself
on Feb. 14th and onwards, is to have a truly ’wonderful’
Valentine’s Day . Barring that, aap kisi kabil nahi haiN. You
are buss, aweiN sa, namona jiya.

Valentine’s Day na howah, inter ka result ho gaya.

Tou yea baaT hai Zamaney Wallo ?. This means war .
Kal maiN kaaley kapRay pehan kar soag mana raha houN...marsiya
khuwani ho gi, ghar par. Shia DosT O’ahbaab will later do synch-
ronized maTam. Aglay saal, inshallah Feb. 14th kou Zamzama sey
Co-ed Taziyah niklay ga, that will end at St. Joseph’s College.

RaasTey meiN har mall aur ’designer boutique’ par kankariyaN
mari jaieN-gi.