Cross-roads!

Standing at the cross-road..the signal is red! And i am made to contemplate, still undecisive, which way to turn, or not to at all. Its a single track road, and the cross-road just falls in out of nowhere, and your only crutch, is that signal, or you won’t have the slightest bit of time, to make a choice! A choice that is, deadly final....i just don’t want the signal to turn green...at least a part of me, while the other part, want s that to happen, desperately, or perhpas knows that its inevitable, and unavoidable,... or may be that part can’t stand the affliction and misery of these stressful moments,given to resolve,.. a wait!
Its not the first cross-road of my life...there have been numerous, but as i ascend on the staircase of life...the meanness and ghastliness of these cross-roads increases. To my right lies the way that i would have, otherwise, opted for...that leads to a destination, the most sought for one...but the way is perilous, killer-spikes protruding all along, I’ll have to make my way through them v precisely n precariously, but the trouble is, i am not sure whether that way would be free of any such cross-road s?...there might be one only a coyple of yards...n my vision is blocked!
I could move on...straight....as i chose to do on the previous cross-road, i did make my choice there!...but somehoiw, i apprehend this cross-road is not here for no reason...I am supposed to choose again! Most likely since this way now seems to be leading into ...nowhere! just a path, good to walk along, flat and smooth...but not good enuf...for this short bit of time i hv got..this life...i gotta get to a destination!
And to my left lies the way...where every junction is a destination! but none is the ultimate one!...pleasures all along...but more out of surrender, .to myself, to the will of fate. I’ll just have to be genial to nething that comes my way, take it for granted! Am not resolute or stubborn enuf, to not to take this path, but something is hindering...its not a choice, its a succumb!
So....for the nth time in my life...i am forced toi chose...to decide, i don’t want decisions to be forced on me...but i know the agony of making them...they r tough....choices are as hard as they come...perhpas there’s something missing here...something that would have turned out to be my ultimate option, though a reluctant one, but would.nt have left me so much startled.....a U-turn!