a disgusting incident

from an interact

... i’d mention a disgusting incident...happened with me...sometime in the last century...(just protecting the ladies involved)...

my brother wanted to get married to a karachi gal...what with al-nikah min al sunnati......i think it means marriage is preferable to living in sin...or someting pretty close...arabic is a foreign language...experts tell me the living in sin applies only to marriage-able and i suppose willing-to ladies only...ok will cut out the legalese...they tell me this al-nikah min al sunnati... does not apply to slaves and concubines...this reminds me of a poem on ghungroo and mangal sut’r i did recently but for brevity’s sake i’d keep it out of here...where was i?

...yes my brother wanted a companion to do that legally...and we were here...(T.O.)...and all the eligible ladies we knew were of a more local disposition...meaning desi here...and he wanted the desi from there...now i do not do these favours for everybody...but as i have told you he was my brother...(still is...somethings cannot be changed)... i said i will sacrifice my holidays and we will visit karachi...in preparation for that visit i informed all my friends and relatives there of the holy nature and intent of our sojourn...all three of them...

...so now we arrive jetlagged and the same evening we went to this place for tea...the directions were very precise...turn right at the second chowrangi...turn left on the third road from the left...the one with the chassis of a burned out car...there is a paanwala on the next corner...ask him for hamidm sahib’s house....(ok this is better than making up a name…and brother hamid would not mind at all)...

...so we arrive at this place and are let in the drawing room...afternoons can be ....er...stifling there...what with heat and humidity and dust...khair...in the living room we are seated....an old dadi amman comes in and says something...she is short...all the grannys i know are short...and bent...and is wearing white...oily hair....thick glasses....really thick lenses....and dirty on top...did i mention she had two teeth...left...i mean teeth left...maybe that is why both of us felt the need for sub-titles....but this wasn’t a movie...i smiled...picking up a clue my stoic bro smiled...she smiled...

...then another old lady emerged...she was less bent but still in white and had oily hair...her words were a little more decipherable...she was the granny...that made the first one great granny...even though we were briefed a little the girl with tea tray was expected but had not materialised yet...there were some pictures of still older people in sepia toned photographs in frames that can be described as just this side of being labeled antique...the younger of the two old ladies tried to ascertain if my brother could talk...they had already seen his smile...every time she would ask him something my brother would look at me... i felt like the third guy in the chair between nixon and mao...or between king fah’d and just about anyone...

...i know you want to know what happened...if my brother liked the lady...if she liked him...did they live happily every after...but patience...all in due course...so here we are...my brother is looking at me...in time the granny started examining my hands very closely...she watched my hands ( i thought) very carefully trying to see if i translated her queries in sign language for him to reply to her...at some point she spoke with sufficient clarity and my brother not only understood her question...god bless him... he also replied instantly...satisfied that my brother could listen and talk...she eased up and smiled some more...

...there were some more rustlings and we could hear some giggling...another lady enters the room...this is the mother...we had to nudge each other from falling asleep...6pm in karachi was like 4am here...there was a remarkable similarity between the ladies...if my brother married their daughter we could see in 20 year intervals what she would look like...seeing we were sleepy the mother asked us if we wanted tea...did we!...tea came...

(ok have to rush out...so maybe another day?)
05/19/05
***

pristine truth
s/he mayn’t be ever claimed
s/he is neither the pristine truth
nor polluted falsehood
a chimeric illusion, cerebrate cognition

is that truth God
s/he is neither the pristine truth
nor polluted falsehood
a chimeric illusion, cerebrate cognition

people talk
let them …
the pristine truth shall never fade
(05/18/05)

woh such jo kabhi jhoot na hoga*
woh jo kabhi na milay ga/gi
woh such nahiN hay
jhoot bhi nahiN hay
weh’m hay, khayal hay woh

kya woh such khuda hay
woh bhi kabhi na milay ga/gi
b’jooz is kay woh such nahiN hay
aur na hee hay woh jhoot
na weh’m hay woh na kahayal

log kehtay haiN
logon ko kehnay dO
woh such jo kabhi jhoot na hoga*

*i don’t know whose line this is. it is one of those lines you read and gets inexplicably impressed on your mind.

***
yaatra
rugged peaks, impervious, distant, distinct, detatched
ambuscading, refuging, playing hide and seek with
lazily floating clouds, covering, baring, making faces

determined pilgrimage to the attic for a carton
a blue pullover, left elbow torn, sleeves frayed
pages torn from a notebook, amorous thoughts
once passion soaked, laughing, tingling, quivering
a yellowing newspaper cutting conveying inapt urgency
a rusted key chain with sepia dark photo barely discernible
conveying flashes of mirth, laughter, joy, sigh and tear
stale memories, faded laughter, earnest discourses
trembling anticipation, warm embraces, carefree sleep
now indiscriminately floating across mind’s screen
like the images on the giant screen in a smoky lounge
full of fans - loud, raucous, cheering, heckling, shouting
memories foggy, indistinct, passing vaguely, vainly
memories’ play over, objects ensconced back in the carton
escorted gingerly, furtively to the waste bin
on its way to the land-fill…dust to dust…inna-lilla...

peace, chain, a’munn, sukh, shaanti
elusive, a smile etched on soul’s skin
that cannot be placed in the waste-bin
nor erased, returned, expunged, obliterated
smile indestructible, alive nor dead, afflicting
05/15/05 revised 5/18/05

***

part IV
cc: knock knock
t: bolo:)
cc: amrita thinks ozer has a voice
t: (yawn) haven’t we been over this recently
cc: i forgot...spare me the list...(he was about to go on that tangent...oink oink)
t: (samajhdar ho:)...not a serious query?
cc: (oho something serious descending)...
t: does arundathi roy have a voice?
cc: yes
t: a literary voice based on a solitary book?
cc: she has written essays
t: yes...let me rephrase...100 years from today...what would they be saying about her?
cc: 100 years from today i’d be dead
t: (jawab hee nahin hay)
cc: (kal ka kis ko pata)
t: conjectures?
cc: based on one book...she would be dead meat:)
t: agree...she would be lost in a host of talented writers
cc: who do you think would be kicking?
t: hard to say... i’d be dead too;)
cc: chalak badmash:)
t: :)
cc: voice!
t: style!
cc: voice!
t: style is all i can concede...voice is an assignation by others on the deceased...mostly;)
cc: gtg
t: bye
05/15/05

part III
t: you haven’t used dysfunctional on that board yet
cc: been thinking
t: don’t do that...it’s early
!@#$^%&%&^*^+_))(*&&&...(garbled message)
t: you okay
cc: u don’t have to be so cruel this early
t: sowee...rah? (does that mean i can be cruel later?)
cc: ozer needs a valve job more than the amended dysfunctional quote
t: is that a pre or post beejay realisation?
cc: pre...on the first board too...gives the impression of ’managing the event’
t: but he is an event manager!
cc: i think ozer is kardesh/salim
t: u think so?
cc: wait
t: churchillian!
cc: churchill?
t: ’...time’ll tell...’
cc: no... call it a strong feminine hunch
t: oh that…oos bus kay aagay tO hum sub bay-bus haiN
cc: fem-hunch is not a bus
t: theek hay...laikin humlog to bay-bus haiN na
cc: am outta here, cya l8r
05/14/05

part II
cc: knock knock
t: brb
cc: just a quick baat
t: bolo
cc: can I borrow that dysfunctional baat?
t: depends – as long as am not involved
cc: no I want to use it on the dusk thread with minor changes
t: hmmmm…all of them will gun 4 u;)
cc: I can manage the event
t: chalak chohkeri!
cc: cute chowki:)
t: crazy chowkie
cc: get it copyrighted
t: like the valve?
cc: like the valve...gtg…thanks
05/13/05

part I
cc: did you find your voice
t: no, but N lost his voice;)
cc: he has a voice, aren’t u a tad jealous?
t: bzzz, tweet tweet, meow, peep peep, moo, caw, cuckoo, arf or woof, hee-haw, coo, quack quack, ribbit, honk, cackle, neigh, roar, squeak, oink oink, bleat, howl ...these are voices:)
cc: u r not kind to marques, eliot, desani, mahfouz
t: how can u even compare them to N?...yes am not kind, charitable
cc: charitable?
t: by withholding my comments
cc: you censor urself?
t: sometimes:)...when someone abuses talent
cc: what would u have said?
t: dysfunctional word groupings groping to act as a dysfunctional story written by a dysfunctional writer at a dysfunctional and highly under the influence period of his dysfunctional life vainly exposing the dysfunctionality of living under the dysfunctional minarets in a dysfunctional country occupied by a dysfunctional army-mullah conundrum over a dysfunctional bleeting populace:)
cc: wow, what does that mean?
t: ask H
cc: he loves him
t: that is why u should ask him:)
05/12/05
***

there were some key words i had jotted down and scribbled down this first version and saved on a file last night (draft one)...this morning i still has that paper around...but before opening the saved file i thought let me re create that poem again relying on memory and the paper...the result is draft II...will appreciate feedback the usual way

draft one
zeh’n kay jangal maiN
zaat kay sehra maiN
aur t’ri numnaak aankhON ki jheel maiN
kis such ki talaash hay

paida hotay hee Oosnay
saleeb per chaRha dya, phir
sar e rah youN her aankh maiN
kis such ki talaash maiN haiN

draft two
paida hotay hee (zaalimON/sayyad) nay
saleeb per chaRha diya thaa mujhay

kya a’jub jo zeh’n kay jangalON maiN
zaat kay sehraON maiN go’om
teri ankhiON ki jheel maiN
khood ko bar bar dhooNdta hooN

aur ab tO yeh aalam hay kay
her rah chaltay ki aankhON maiN
jany kis kis ko dhoondta hooN...
5/12/05

***

men’s issues

cc: you don’t know when to stop
t: hunh?
cc: your poem said it all - should’ve stopped there
t: oh the compounded waste...nah...had to bring out the other stuff too
cc: did u see maya’s pix
t: nice teeth
cc: put up yours
t: i am modest
cc: shandana was a funny
t: she has a way
cc: you mean she has a voice
t: ask h if she has a voice;)
cc: u r still smarting from his remarks
t: no why should i resent his opinion?
cc: he meant well...
t: ofcourse...in urdu we have had similar debates..in fact such debates are neverending and almost always inconclusive
cc: what were the debates in urdu about?
t: a’dub barai a’dub vs. a’dub barai fun
cc: fun as in fun?
t: pretty close:) ..fun is art or craft
cc: ah passion or craft
t: or a blend...to acquire that voice (shrug)
cc: u should get a voice
t: and u should decide if you belong to ed or er
cc: what is ed or er? i do not belong to a club that would have groucho;)
t: :)...prelude ditch to ed or er
cc: (there he goes on his wonky pitches)...ok serious?
t: never!
cc: what are men’s issues?
t: ask someone else...my issues would be very similar to yours
cc: i meant an average man’s issues
t: (larki insult kar rahi hay)
cc: come on don’t be afraid to tax ur brain
t: hmmm 1: girls, 2: girls, 3: girls..4:...exhibit A: one-world, exhibit B: cayenne;)
cc: (interrupting) achcha ab soach ker batao
t: 1: education (leading to career leading to gals)
t: 2: career (following education..leading to gals)
t: 3: money in the bank (flashier car/fancy clothes...leading to gals)
t: 4: finally a catch..the gal...( then children leading to loss of interest in that gal..and following other gals)
cc: think i get the drift (yeh to waq’t zayah karnay per tula hu’a hay)
t: ( ab dobarah itnay serious sawal nahin poochay gi)
cc: will give you a raincheck on this..let me know tomorrow
t: sure (sochna hee paRay ga ab - yeh peecha nahiN choRay gi)
5/11/05
***

melt-down
lava
smoldering without oxygen
burning
its way out, fighting the plains
mountains
pee(a)king at the top to breathe
and burn
to raze and level in its swim
snaking
through hills, lakes, valleys and plains
cooling
spouting nourishment off its bosom
to feed
so the strive begins anew and
friendship
gets buried down once again
deep down
5/10/05
***

insignificant
when in love
world fritters
when out love
it’s light out

significant
lacrimation
helps ululate
and pullulate
5/10/05
***

Drive Dream
’’bye’
closed door, opened another one
turned on the radio
’…high of 11, low of 3…’
get the papers organized
go to the bank the day after
’…in Iraq today 75 casualties…’
should have a heart to heart
with son, that girl is incompatible
’…premier mcguinty told PM martin…’
should call bell and compare
and investigate voip
rewrite and rearrange fishing II
fix the i-log
check out the submissions
’…the blue jays blanked the yankees…’
try and get out of that social gathering
another heart to heart with the other son
he should not study that much
found a spot, parked, locked
’’morning’
5/10/05
***

Kai sa Such
bachhchay sub ma’asoom hotay haiN
suraj mashriq hee say hota hay
tulu aur such such hee hota hay
rung such ka kuch nahiN hay
lOg apni apni lens ka rung
oos such per chaRha daitay haiN
magar yeh such kaisa such hay
jaaN jo youN zayah karta hay?
5/09/05
***

Marketplace Sad’r City
at the busy intersection
the mother in black chador
clasping the hands of a child
with baleful eyes and shy smile
a ragged doll pressed to her bosom
cacophony of the bazaar
a car, like any other car
one moment and a cascading
inferno raining mayhem next
people shouting, cursing His name
running in every direction
stunned, felt something hit my foot
it was a small hand clasping
another hand very tightly
5/0805
sad’r bazaar
ik na bhoolnay wali muskurahat
khail rahi thee oos ma’som kay labaouN per
ik haath maiN maaN ka haath, doosray may ik guRRiya
achanak hu’a ik dhamaka aur phaila
her soo’ dhuwaaN, sho’lay aur aah o pukaar
is afra-tafri may paire m’ra jo takraya
tou dekhay do haath - aik chota aik baRa haath
5/0905
***

mother
what’s the harm
in loving her today
a little more
despite hallmark’s
efforts to seize (the day)
here is to Moms here and there*
*my mom, God-bless is no longer here
5/0805
***