Real answers for dillidost

I apologize for Chowk Staff editing my answers to provide you an unrealistically sanitized version. Here are the real answers for your personal use:

1) Is it true that rape in Pakistan is a common phenomenon and rapists get away because of Hudood requirement of 4 witnesses?

No. Honestly, rape is not a common phenomenon in Pakistan. When you get off at any of the three main international airports, you might hear some loud moaning and groaning sounds. Do not be concerned. These are merely sounds of deprogramming of PIA stewardi. They are undergoing altitude adjustment after having been exposed to western feminazism during their tour of duty. Bad service is an obvious sign of feminazi influence. If you would like to be one of four witnesses, you can buy the tickets at any airline counter at the airport. They tend to be expensive and disappear quickly.

2) Is it true the punishment of conversion to other Religion is death?
No, absolutely not. But just for the record, I want to state that I am a true, practicing Muslim, who has never deviated from the straight path. My support for Ahmedis does not necessarily mean agreement with their religious philosophy or beliefs. Contrary to pupular rumors, I have never been to Khajurao, did not spend hours "worshipping" my favorite sculptures, or kept a copy of the Kama Sutra under my pillow.

3) Is it true that Muslims with Hindu like last names such as yours are persecuted?
Yes, it is true. Just look at the treatment I get from Pakis here on Chowk. Some of us with Hindu last names are afraid to use them - Romair, Ali, and others. There is this Paki poet named Fazil Chauhan, an excellent poet with good material. They roasted him alive on FP for his poetry, all the while praising Temporal, probably an Ashrafi Muslim, for his noble poetry.

4) What is the street scene in Pakistan like towards non Muslims? For e.g. if I visit would I be safe, I was told to not visit Pakistan because Sikhs are still not safe there(told by older relative).

The street scene varies from city to city. Most non-Muslims are safe most of the time. In your particular case, advertising yourself as a Sikh, due to your obvious hair and pug, may not be a good idea. It may cause you to be raped - no, not by the men, there is no shortage of Pathans in Pakistan. but by the women. :) By going around as a Sikh, you might be attacked by the women, especially in Lahore. There is a myth about Sikh men and their sexual appeal and it drives Lahori women crazy.

Also, I suggest you avoid going to Pakistan just before Bakr Eid. As the date approaches, Pakis go bananas, kinda like the 12 o’clock effect that I am sure you are familiar with. :) Anything that moves is subject to be grabbed and put under the knife. Sometimes, these sacrifice-crazed Pakis neglect to even count the legs of the victim or look their features. Most dhotis keep their khotays safely hidden in their bathrooms around this time. In Karachi, where they see a Sikh every five years or so, you may be mobbed by people wanting to have their picture taken with you. Just play along, it’s really harmless. In Peshawar, if they want to get too friendly, just be careful. :)

I know you expressed a desire to visit Quetta. Why? Unless you have never seen snow, why would you want to go to Quetta?

5) In your opinion, can Indians-Pakis have real peace through trade etc instead of war?

Of course. It has already started. We gave you Meera, you gave us bakras, sheep, cows, garlic, and onions. Fair trade, I say. We Pakis are going to capitalize on something very important in the future. When you guys have an acute shortage of women, thanks to the gender-driven selective abortions, we will get rich. The prices for our exports will go way up. We will have more bakras, sheep, cows, garlic, and onions than you can shake a stick at. So, in summary yes, war is definitely NOT the answer.

Thank you for your patience in waiting to hear the real answers.

Sincerely,

Salim