To Noor

Dear Noor,

I do not know why I call you Noor. It is especially enigmatic because, for one, I have never known you and that I do not even know, for sure, if you exist at all. And for another matter, where I come from, Noor translates to mean 'grace'.

I have a feeling that you do exist because I have seen your vague image in my dreams many a times before. There are other times when your thought in me freshens as if you were in close proximity to me. And still there are other times when my heart beats stronger for want of you.

Perhaps you may read this and know that I am seeking you. Perhaps you may read this and understand that half a life is drudgery enough for want of you. Pain, perhaps, as they say, is the best motivator and to find meaning in that pain is our best guide.

This is, may be, why I am still alive because I find inklings of meaning in my suffering like pieces of crumbs placed by Hansel and Gretel. There is nothing unique about suffering and I; everyone suffers; some suffer for an active externality inflicted upon them; some, like me, suffer for want of the desire to become one with the dream they harbor and live by, everyday. Life is a very beautiful gift, but incomplete without you.

A man may, like me, have a great family and superb friends. But love is that peculiar piece of a puzzle that completes and binds and gives meaning to both our existential mortality and immortality.

It is about 1.21 am and I have still much to say. My emotions, like a bull, rage on but I can not find words sturdy enough to contain them.

Dawn is near, light will soon emerge, I will again project myself in my breathtakingly beautiful world. And to you I will write again. I can and would like to wish you peace, serenity, and much love.

Yours (and only yours),
FS