violently yours

So the other day, when this seriously annoying guy made a comment about me being particluar about 'aligning' things on tables (that made me realize he'd been watching me for too long and that made me uneasy, angry and irritated) I told him, "I have a tendency to.." and he was smiling and nodding, thinking I'd say "be particular" or something but instead I said, "..to get violent." He looked shocked and shrugged his shoulders and said, "Heyyy.." Yeah, hey you. Ass. Stop STARING.

Whatever. It's just that everyone else there thought I was kidding. I wasn't. I was watching that Twenty-20 final with some friends yesterday and I landed up hitting Testy Guy so hard that I'm positive he must have found bruises when he got home and checked under his shirt. *shrug* I couldn't help it. I kept sitting there, legs tightly crossed, and arms wilidly flailing saying, "We are soooo screwed!" and these guys just brushed me off saying, "Shut up. You don't know anything. Just you wait and see till Afridi comes out." And I turned to hit Testy Guy while saying, "My ass. If your bets are on him then we're definitely totally screwed." I got this look all around of she's-a-girl-and-knows-jack-about-cricket. So of course, when Afridi came out and went bloody back on the second ball, I just broke out into this violent fit. *shrug* Interesting to note was that Testy Guy took the beating without moving. Almost like he knew he deserved it.

Eventually, the seriously annoying guy (who was there yesterday too) said, "Shit. You were serious. You do have a tendency to get violent." I didn't even smile at him.

And so, with that vile, violent and vicious mood, friend and I went to have coffee, for lack of a better option. Now, the thing about this coffee place is that it has regulars. I'm pretty sure we qualify. I mean, the guys there no longer ask us what we want - it just appears on our table within two minutes of us being there. But there are these new regulars who we've been seeing there for a month now. These two guys who turn up with one or two different girls every time. Friend, being a guy, has never noticed how the two guys keep checking us out. When I complained (to friend) about that he said, "That's because it's not 'us' they're checking out. It's you. Fool."

Whatever. They were there yesterday and when friend left the table to get something from the car, one of these guys walks up to me, crouches down next to my couch and asks, "Hey listen, is your name #@!#%?" The use of '#@!#%' is not to conceal any names - it is merely to convey that I have no clue what name he said. "What was that?" "What?" "That name you just said." "J-a-u-d-a-t" he spelled out. "Ah. What an odd name. Peculiar. Unusual." He's still waiting for an answer, I think. I don't bother to ask if he is so he asks again, "So?" "Yeah and I'd ask about a name if it were mine." Friend walks back up and looks positively horrified at what lies (this guy is crouching so..things indeed lie) before him. "WTF!" Guy gets up and says, "No no! Your girlfriend just looked familiar.." "W.T.F.!" Hahahahaha.. 'girlfriend' was the reason for the second wtf but this guy assumed it was just a male, territorial charge..seeing red.. hahahaha. I was just sitting there laughing like a fool.

Guy walked off to his table. If he had a tail it would have been between his legs. Friend sat down still muttering, " I mean..girlfriend??" "Yeah..e-x-a-c-t-l-y-y-y-y.." "So what was that?" "Some lame pick up line of 'is your name..'" "That's so old." "I know." And then we went back to our seriously shallow conversation about the complexities of ill-fitted shirts.

We eventually left and he decided to kill some time at my house. Another friend came by and said something about the fresh cricket defeat and I told him to shut up before I started hitting him. He, like so many other non-believers in the past, didn't take me seriously and five minutes later he was doubling over with serious pain. Friend was horrified and smiling at the same time, "Shit. Are you mad or what!? That was good though...and how come I've never been hit?!"

Then the evening progressed into a conversation about violent women. They kept looking at me like I was part of the statistics or something. I mean, come on, these were just friendly (well-placed and well-timed) punches. These were just friendly connections. Nothing more! Yet, they seemed wary. Tch. Guys. So wary about the insignificant things and so DENSE about the significant ones...

I don't know how the evening ended. I think..they left when I was in the middle of a phone conversation with mad NYC friend..oh yeah..that's when they left..

And after that, I just read. As usual.

Hello. Monday sucked. But I think Tuesdays are better.

25/09/07; 9:05am