REALL definations

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6.Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power. ..

9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic: books which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

16. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

17. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

18.Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after?

19. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. ....excluding me...: )

20.Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.