From my past lives, I have learnt

From my past lives, I have learnt:

• Love is best practiced online.
• Most things one want to do are immoral; most things one want to eat are fattening.
• Lying is an art, there should be schools out there teaching just that.
• Being a vegetarian is not what it is all cracked up to be.
• Love handles are essential; when love fades away, you need to hold on to something.
• There exist something called boredom triggered coma; trust me, I have suffered from it.
• The only people who support Manchester United are the ones who don’t know much about football.
• Bananas contain a natural chemical that make you happy. The same chemical is found in Prozac, so bananas can now be substituted for Prozac.
• The ability to bullshit your way around is handier than the ability to speak five languages.
• Last but not the least, there is no experience as life altering as death.