familiar stranger

Do I know you? You look familiar. Think we met somewhere. Fleetingly. Deep, dark forests and cobblestone pathways. But this is a different place. Loud and crowded. People. Sound. Music. The aroma of coffee mixes with that of smoke. Do I know you?

A flicker of recognition that’s killed by a ton of reality. No, I don’t know you. Thought you were someone else. Just for a second. You reminded me of someone I knew. But that was someone else.

I glance at my cell phone. The screen doesn’t light up. This is awful. I’ve been waiting for it to light up for about a year now. But that’s not happening. Pathetic. I visualize cracking the cell phone screen. But then I’d have to go buy a new one and really, I’m saving up for that quick break to hop across to home to watch a bit of Bono in 3D. Have to save up for that. Have to go see him and his lot. It’s been a decade since I saw them last. They’re more important than the urge to break my phone. So I let it lie there on the table. Next to the metal ashtray that holds a lit cigarette. And I pick up my coffee and take a sip. I think about Underworld. I think about The Winter Machine. I think about Norway. Quick memory clips. Then I shut them out and focus on the people around me. We’re ready to pay up and leave.

I’m laughing by the time I’m getting ready for bed. It’s this silly, giggling fit. I’m grinning like a fool as I play Solitaire on my cell phone that doesn’t have a cracked screen. I keep laughing even as my headache makes me wince.

My head started hurting two days back. Unabated pounding. Watching Michael Clayton didn’t help. There is no particular reason for not liking Clooney – I just don’t like him. Plus, the three horses bothered me in the movie. What did they mean? They had to have some meaning. But what? Asked a few people and they couldn’t understand why that was the only comment/query I had about the movie. *shrug* I just did. The three horses on the hilltop. Tell me about them. They were a picture in a book and then they were right there on the hilltop. But what’s the connection? Stupid question? Whatever. I just want to know. They’ve been bothering me.

Reading non-stop can’t be good for headaches. Maybe that’s what’s been feeding it. I read five books this weekend. All but one was trash. The Koontz novel wasn’t too bad. But it completely messed my head up. One would think there’s no room for more messing up but hey, one should never be naïve enough to say “It can’t get worse.” Hah. It can always always always get worse. So. Yeah. The Koontz book messed my head up so much that I couldn’t sleep last night. Was up till dawn staring at the walls with one song on repeat. Occasionally I’d get that giggling fit too. Was bizarre. Manic. I do manic really well.

Do I know you? Shit, no.

But yesterday, hey, I met someone I used to know.

12/02/08; 9:49am