..of bringing changes.

Another crisis – another hour of shooting long lines of people, stumbling over each other – trying to get a ‘basic’ commodity of life. The store managers slither off when we show up now. The public sentiment is changing from desperate to hostile – they call us names sometimes, asking us what we can do for them.
I lost control and told off a few last time.
My job is NOT to do anything for you, my job is NOT to provide you with food – I’m here to report things that go on, I’m here JUST for that, nothing more.
A few women cried, asking me where they should go & who they should talk to.
Kis say bat karain, kon madad karay ga.
Mujhay nahi pata, said I, I don’t know, ok!
So many times, so many times you stop and question the worth of what you are doing. The idealistic ‘change’ that was a part of the ambition ages back has faded years ago – reality set in fairly quick – but still, somewhere, it is a thing of pride – every statement issued as a reaction on one of your reports, every person who benefited in any way – every little thing.
Long term – substantial change – the goals from long long ago.
Ab, I stop and question why I do what I do – I question why I shouldn’t choose something that doesn’t come with emotional backlashes – and I remind myself of a Suo Moto action, a petition, a court ruling – I remind myself of a child without arms or feet and his smile at the hope.
And its ironic, cause really, even that didn’t mean anything more than something to add on the resume.
Just how insensitive can one get?