Amit Sharma's Glossary of Financial Jargon

As we all know, the self-proclaimed maha chutiya of Wall Street is Amit Sharma aka Choostahai, Chutiyahai, or CrateAlpo.

I am suggesting that we collect this glossary of his financial terms so that we can better understand him when he tries to impress us with his jargon.

To get started, I will offer a couple of financial terms. I request you all to contribute to this effort. Thank you


Amit Sharma's Glossary of Financial Jargon

SHORT TERM INVESTMENT: Getting a hymenoplastie operation for Mrs. Sharma.

LONG TERM INVESTMENT: Boob job for Mrs. Sharma.

SHORT TERM CAPITAL LOSS: Mrs. Sharma getting raped in Nairobi.

SHORT TERM CAPITAL GAIN: Mrs. Sharma making a quick buck in DC.

LONG TERM CAPITAL LOSS: Mrs. Sharma stuck in New Delhi for over a year with a bunch of cheap Injuns looking for free jollies.

LONG TERM CAPITAL GAIN: Mrs. Sharma striking it rich for over a year with the Chinese Ministry of Defence in Beijing.

T-Bills: Large denomination notes (e.g. $5) that Mrs. Sharma hides in her bra.

SPLIT: What some customers try to do to Mrs. Sharma to avoid payment. Also describes the situation of Mr. Sharma's posterior when Qutubuddin Bukbuk aka Kalloo Hairy shows up.

401K: Mrs. Sharma's quota for the 21st century.

IRA: Several terms used by Mr. Sharma to describe himself, e.g. "I are a fool." or "I are a queer."

DIVIDEND: Short for Divided End - another state of Mrs. Sharma after a long day with the Chinese Navy.

QUOTE: Offers of yuan, pesos, or other foreign currency shouted at Mrs. Sharma from the sailors on ships.

INTEREST RATE: The amount of traffic or volume of cars, trailing Mrs. Sharma, as she heads up Broadway.

FEDS: Federal departments, agencies, and offices investigating Mrs. Sharma's business - FBI, IRS, INS, EPA, CDC, BIA, DOL, etc..

Please add more as you care to contribute - remember the additions must be from Sharma's perspective and should involve Mrs. Sharma to be really kosher.