The Wandering Thoughts

He is so happy, he is jumping with joy, making jokes. As if it were all ok. As if we both were friends, like we were. Because he thinks we weren't lately. Well, I thought we were always. Its just that he has been feeling bad. But Its just him. *I* never feel that my friendship with him was any different than it was near the Millinium era. Its still the same for me, always has been. Maybe she even thinks that after detatching me from... myself, everything is going to be ok. Especially, if I start to joke around, act normal, they both will believe it and will think that their plan worked.
He is so into saving his friendship, thats its always about the friendship itself, and not the other person, me. So what, the other person, is being destroyed piece by piece. So what Im breaking to pieces day by day, hurting and dying.
He doesnt realize, that it was HER who brought us back together, it was HER who made our friendship better. Before I met her, we werent even talking and it had been years. And now, with her being away, its going to go real bad. I know I will be there for him all the time, but, inside, will I FELL the friendship? Will I be happy? And doese it matter that I am happy? or does he only care about that friendship?

I just wonder...