Jub hum na hoon gey to beharwa, bolo kiya phir aao gey ...

After drinking half a pint of grease, well more likely eating chinese noodles glazed with that half a pint, the stomach is feeling full enough to excrete some mindless blabber. This entry feels like writing to an old friend one hasn't associated with in a while. I almost feel like starting off with that guilty, fake, 'soooo, WoW, how have you been' line - but that will only increase the strangeness of my starting-to-sound-strange ilog. I shall refrain! Need restraint on my thoughts. There's been a lack of that lately. Thoughts are running wild giving this gracelessly panting human a good chase. I need to capture a single thought as a pet. I need one, you know, just one, to be affiliated with, for the sake of identification of emotion, to enlist whatever the hell it is I'm feeling these days.

So, comfortably numb comes to mind, but damn, this is uncomfortable numbness ... there's no pain, just pressure. This icky/wicky/sticky feeling serves as a reminder that sensation once existed and now has subsided, that some discrepancy has taken place somewhere. I revert to past for comfort, reaching into details of what once was, to foresee what's next. Why humiliate myself in need for emotional validation? I should be proud of this newly found emotional freedom, throw myself a party, invite everyone to the exposure of this cheery, happy, on-cloud-nine of myself ~ but, this (icky/wicky feeling) reminds me that something was, and is no longer. The bottom line is, my intensity has vanished and perhaps my common sense with it.